The Minority Report - "Kung Fu Panda 2" (2011)

“Kung Fu Panda 2” has just won its way into my heart and into my ranks as one of the best kung fu movies of my generation. It allays my complaints of the first “Kung Fu Panda.” As, for a kung fu movie, the first film seemed to have a lack of fighting. Sure, it was a heart-warming coming of age story, but it was not the over top goodness that one expects from such a flick. In comparison, “Kung Fu Panda 2” comes out karate chops a blazin’. Over the top action moves from scene one, obvious inspiration from classic films alongside improvements, and an increase in the general wackiness of the action sequences due to the fact it is animated and not so grounded in reality are a few of the things you can expect. This, combined with another heart warming tale, Po’s back story, a menacing villain, well timed humor, captivating animation, and fantastic voice work creates an on-screen spectacle that will surely bring a smile to one’s face, young and old alike.

Shen The Peacock (voiced by Gary Oldman) makes for a profound and merciless villain. The subtle evil that radiates from this character sends chills down the viewer’s spine. This reaction is drawn from the simple fact that his evil stems from innocence and an entanglement of fear about his own fate. Shen is fighting against his fate by trying to end kung fu with a militia using destructive technology and it is up to the dragon warrior and the furious five to defeat him. Po (Jack Black once again is brilliant as the voice actor) has slimed down and has learned some new moves since the first film. Tigress (voiced by Angelina Jolie) is put more into the spotlight alongside the rest of the furious five (voices of Seth Rogen, Jackie Chan, David Cross, and Lucy Liu), who in the first film deserved more screen time.

The art and graphics of this film have improved as well, including flash back scenes told in a 2D animated fashion, and some cell shaded effects. The director, Jennifer Yuh, once again outdoes herself by breathing new life into how computer animated films are made, as well as making a fine kung fu movie. It reminded me a lot of one of my all-time favorite kung fu films: “Kung Fu Hustle” (which is a huge compliment). By striking a delicate and perfect blend of over the top action, yet keeping it grounded enough to be fantastically believable, the humor, unlikely protagonists, and nods to historic kung fu films allow this movie to carve its own path into kung fu greatness. Now, the movie is not without its flaws. Obviously, its chief demographic is children, so there are some groan inducing gags to tolerate. It seemed to move fairly fast, and could have benefited from some more introduction. Furthermore, some voice acting was not as strong as the others (for example, David Cross and Seth Rogen). This movie is far more epic and grander than its predecessor, which make it superior in many ways, but how can one top a surprise hit? You cannot. Instead, you improve and move along, which this film does flawlessly. This film is like watching a kung fu master dressed as clown paint an epic tale with vivid detail and technique. Pandas rule! Skadoosh!


By V-Dawg

The Minority Report - "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides" (2011)

“If I don’t kill a man every now and then, they forget who I am.”
This was probably one of those movies that was very highly anticipated, as it opened the summer box office. That it did…with a bang: $90.1 million in domestic ticket sales and $256.3 in international ticket sales at the opening box office. It’s no wonder, too, considering it boasted what many girls with eyes glazed over claim is the sexiest pirate ever—Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp). I don’t say “Captain Jack Sparrow,” since he doesn’t deserve to be called so this movie. The 4th installment in the “Pirates” series, seeks to maintain all the charm of its predecessors with a different story. It does a decent job, but obviously still suffers from the aches and pains of being a sequel.

The story revolves around the ever-eccentric Jack Sparrow, who has travelled to London to locate an impersonator that is recruiting a crew for a ship to find the Fountain of Youth. After rescuing his former crewmate, he has an encounter with the king, who offers him a spot aboard a vessel to discover the lost fountain before the Spanish. The expedition will be headed by none other than Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush), who has become a privateer since losing the Black Pearl to Blackbeard (Ian McShane). Sparrow declines and escapes to unmask his impostor, who ends up being his ex, Angelica (Penélope Cruz). He ends up on Blackbeard’s ship, in a quest that will pit him against Spain, London, Mermaids, Juan Ponce de León, and Blackbeard, all leading up to the fabled Fountain of Youth.

Jack Sparrow’s quirkiness is still here in full swing, but the true acting prowess and the reason I chose the quote at the beginning is Ian McShane’s Blackbeard. He is the perfect villain. Emanating pure evil, controlling his ship with his sword, and making use of a crew of zombies, the man pulls it off no sweat. Even though the movie can get a bit hectic with the fighting sequences, it is still a fun ride for the beginning of summer. I wouldn’t give it as low a score as it has on Rotten Tomatoes currently, but it is definitely nowhere near as great as its predecessors. The 3D was also definitely not worth it, as there were probably 5 scenes that were noticeably done for the 3D effect. I watched it normally, and can safely tell everyone not to waste their money on it. This movie is like watching paint dry on the many islands and ships of the Caribbean.


By Kulguy

The Caucasian Report - "Bridesmaids" (2011)

~Off the Chain on the Airplane~
When I saw the trailer for this movie, I definitely thought it was going to be the type of movie I would enjoy. It looked like it had everything: two actresses from “Saturday Night Live” and all the crude humor associated with a Judd Apatow film. It had all the potential to be absolutely hysterical. However, most of the movie disappointed me…especially the first half. The people I saw it with thought it was ‘awesome’ or said it was ‘funny-funny,’ but I have to disagree. I would categorize it as ‘decent-funny.’ I would not go out of my way to watch this movie again.

The movie is about a single, middle-aged woman named Annie (Kristen Wiig) going through a rough patch in her life. After losing her bakery due to the recession and taking a major blow to her self-esteem in the process, we see that she has started letting the people in her life push her around. She is paying half the rent for the apartment she shares with two other people, her car is falling apart, and she is holding onto the false hope that the guy she is sleeping with is interested in more than just casual sex. When her best friend Lillian (Maya Rudolph) gets engaged, she asks Annie to be her maid of honor. The engagement party is held at a swanky estate where Annie meets one of Lillian’s new acquaintances: Helen (Rose Byrne). She is an overdressed snob whom Annie feels immediately threatened by. Annie and Helen instantly clash as they each call themselves Lillian’s best friend. A competition to plan the best pre-wedding events, including the bachelorette party and bridal shower, quickly ensues. Unfortunately, everything Annie plans turns out to be one disaster after the next.

I did not enjoy the first half of the movie, as I laughed at maybe 10% of the jokes in that time. I found most of the acting annoying and forced, and some of the jokes went on much longer than necessary. The speech battle between Annie and Helen was funny maybe the first minute, but it definitely didn’t need to go as long as it did. Kristen Wiig’s acting is fine for SNL skits, but it’s a little too one-note and passive to pull off a main character in a feature length film. Most of the supporting actors were ok—nothing terrible, but nothing extraordinary. I did enjoy Melissa McCarthy’s portrayal of the butch of the group; it was crude yet confident, and that’s what made it stand out among the cast. The movie did have some genuinely funny scenes; it’s just too bad they had to happen toward the end of the movie. I found Annie’s misfortune during the airplane scene truly entertaining, and this was the best part of Wiig’s performance. And I do have to give this movie credit for having a developed plotline underneath all the raunchiness. Indeed, what made the second half of the movie better than the first was the character development. To my surprise, the movie actually had an uplifting, dare I say inspirational, message. I will let you watch it to find out what that message is. The first half of this movie is like watching paint dry in an empty paint can, but at least during the second half the can is half full.


By WhiteChick

The Minority Report - "Rango" (2011)

“Rango” is a story about finding out who you are, how to stay yourself in an ever-changing world, and being the person you created. Rango (voiced by Johnny Depp) is a chameleon who was confined to the glass walls of his terrarium and created characters and scenarios for him to play upon. One fateful day while traveling in the back seat of his owner’s car, his terrarium, with him inside, was ejected from the vehicle in the middle of the Mojave Desert. Rango then runs into a shaman-like armadillo that tells him that he needs to travel to the town of Dirt in order to find the water he needs to quench his thirst under the harsh, blistering sun. Once he reaches the town of Dirt, the movie changes. Previously, the movie was filled with action, comedy, and a modern feel. Once Rango gets to the town (about 15 minutes in), the movie seems to drift away from the comedy to focus on the western setting and story. Laughs will still ensue, but it was not like the side splitting beginning.

In fact, I can easily say that this movie’s story and feel make it not a children’s movie (even though it is produced by nickelodeon and is a computer generated cartoon movie). The film handles heavy subjects such as alcoholism and murder. The story is a western at its heart, but like good westerns, it may not be what a parent wants their children to see. The story is a murder mystery; the transformation of Rango from someone playing a part, to becoming the part, and a search for the most precious thing in the town—water. H2O is the life of the town of Dirt: people pay for items with it, need it, worship it, and it is, unfortunately, gone and has been for some time. Hope is all but lost until Rango shows up and inspires the town to search for water. But unfortunately, the story runs a bit dry from time to time with its hit-or-miss humor, lack of action, and general missteps.

One misstep is how it seems a tad confused as to who its target audience is. One would think that the director of the “Pirates of the Caribbean” films (Gore Verbinski) would know how to walk that fine line between being too mature for the younger audiences and being mature enough to grasp the attention of the older folk. It misses that completely and seems to be staying close to a dark, crude, western tale with some juvenile dialogue that seems vastly misplaced just to justify and keep its PG rating. This is most apparent in its happy ending that is directly contradictory to its overall dark theme. It dwells on death, deceit, and revenge, like most good westerns. Some of the dialogue and most of the humor is actually very crude, including alcoholism, smoking, and racism. If I was a parent, I would not take my younger children to this film.

What this film does do right is the animation. It is simply stunning, and shows a fantastic art direction. It is exaggerated and rich. Colors pop, light shines, and every detail is seen in brilliance. It is sometimes like watching art being painted upon the movie screen. The director knows this and makes sure that the animation in and of itself is another character.

The art and animation, unfortunately, are not enough to hold a viewer’s attention during one of its many slow parts. The movie was surprisingly sinister and mature. Overall, it was an enjoyable little film that should by viewed by fans of westerns, the “Pirates of the Caribbean” movies, or someone looking for a film that is vastly different from the normal Hollywood CGI films. In the end, it was like watching a gorgeous painting of a western ghost town dry under the desert sun.


By V-Dawg

The Minority Report - "Thor" (2011)

“Whoever wields this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor.”
Thor is just one of those movies. I had heard about it, but I wasn’t that intrigued by it. I knew what it was about and where it had come from (the Marvel universe, etc.), but I was just apathetic towards it. When V-Dawg told me that we should go see it, I agreed…who would pass up a good movie on a Friday night? We went with a huge group of people to the 3D screening (more on that later), and watched it. I must say, I was genuinely impressed by the movie.

The story centers on the gods of Norse Mythology. Here, though, they are aliens that live in the center of the galaxy. Their home called Asgard and had been at war with a species called the Frost Giants of Jotunheim in the past, but they had been dealt with until the day that Thor (Chris Hemsworth) was going to ascend to the throne and replace his father, Odin (Anthony Hopkins). Against his father’s orders, Thor decides to journey to Jotunheim along with his brother, Loki (Tom Hiddleston), his friend, Sif (Jaimie Alexander), and a group that has fought alongside him before, called the Warriors Three—Volstagg (Ray Stevenson), Fandral (Joshua Dallas), and Hogun (Tadanobu Asano). There, he confronts Laufey (Colm Feore), the leader of the Frost Giants, trying to find out how they managed to sneak into Asgard. A battle ensues because of Thor’s arrogance, and Odin has to save them from getting killed, pitting Asgard at war with the Frost Giants once more. As a result, Odin exiles Thor to Earth, and curses his hammer so that it may only be used by he who is worthy. From there, Thor has to figure out what has transpired in Asgard, and how to get back before it is too late.

The movie genuinely surprised me. From its honest humor to its overly dramatic fight sequences, I was drawn in. The dialogue was smartly written to contrast Thor’s upbringing from the mortals, and the acting was quite impressive. Considering the fact that this is a movie based on a comic book, it is an excellent breath of life for the superhero genre. The characters (by someone who was unaware or ignorant of the fact that this is based on a comic book) might come across as two dimensional, but for others, their personalities and back-stories are evident. One thing that bothered me was that the movie felt rushed. It was almost as if it was missing something. It’s an immensely enjoyable movie, nonetheless, and I would wholeheartedly recommend it to people. If you have the choice, don’t watch it in 3D, since it is unnecessary and adds nothing to the movie. Everyone that reads my writings knows my feelings towards 3D, but rest assured that you shouldn’t spend the extra money if you can. This movie is like watching paint dry on a hammer that gives the wielder Thor’s powers.


By Kulguy

The Caucasian Report - "The Mask" (1994)

~The Average Joe and the Coco Bongo~
This movie has been one of my favorites since I was a little kid, and it is one of the reasons Jim Carrey is my favorite actor. I remember whenever my parents said it was my turn to choose the movie we were going to rent, I would chose this one every time. Ok, maybe not every time, but we definitely rented it a hefty number of times. If you are ever in the mood for over-the-top, slapstick humor, this is the movie you should watch.

The movie is about the stereotypical “nice guy,” Stanley Ipkiss (Jim Carrey), that gets pushed around by just about everyone in his life including his boss, landlord, and even his best friend. He is also a “hopeless romantic.” He is the guy that will go out of his way to get concert tickets for himself and his date, and give up his ticket when she decides she does not want to let her best friend sit home alone. But then, he meets and quickly develops feelings for Tina Carlyle (Cameron Diaz), a singer at a new club called the Coco Bongo. One night, when his car breaks down on a bridge, he thinks he sees a person in the water and rushes to help. When he finds out it was just a pile of debris, he comes across a mask that looks like it belongs to some ancient Amazonian civilization. There is no way he is prepared for what happens when he puts the mask on, and what follows is an adventure that feels like it came straight out of a Looney Tunes cartoon—complete with popping eyeballs and tornado locomotion.

Jim Carrey was definitely born to play this role. I can’t imagine this movie with anyone else playing the lead because Carrey’s level of wackiness, hardly rivaled by anyone, is needed for achieving “the mask’s” character. The way Carrey is able to transform from an average Joe into a “love-crazy wild man” is what makes this movie so entertaining. You can hardly believe that Stanley and “the mask” are the same person. The film offers everything from dance numbers to dream sequences, and even action scenes. The best scene of the movie is when “the mask” charms an entire police force into a conga line while impersonating Cuban Pete. This movie is like watching the paint that makes up the lettering on Wile E. Coyote’s “Help!” sign dry before he plummets off a cliff.


By WhiteChick