Wednesday, April 20, 2011

The Caucasian Report - "Your Highness" (2011)


~Hot chicks and Minotaur dicks~

As a huge comedy fan, I could not pass up seeing “Your Highness,” especially when I was told of the cast: Danny McBride, James Franco, Natalie Portman, and Zooey Deschanel. I thought it was a somewhat random, but provocative combination of actors, and I was looking forward to seeing how they worked together. I found myself enjoying the movie and laughing at its crude humor. How crude, you ask? Well, let’s just say this: at one point, the main character cuts off a Minotaur’s penis and wears it as a trophy around his neck. So, if you are a fan of penis/sex jokes, this movie will not disappoint. This is definitely not a movie where you take someone who is offended by the word “fuck” to, as it was used A LOT. It was even modified into a new verb: “fuckening.” I’m sure you’ll have no problem figuring out what that means.

The film is about the quest of two brothers, Thadeous (Danny McBride) and Fabious (James Franco), to save Belladonna (Zooey Deschanel) from her ultimate fate—being impregnated by the evil Leezar (Justin Theroux), resulting in a dragon baby that would grant him the power to take over the world. Belladonna is Fabious’ love, and he will stop at nothing to rescue her. Also accompanying them on their quest is Thadeous’ man servant, Courtney (Rasmus Hardiker). From making out and smoking “herbs” with a wizard that resembles a purple yoda with a see-through skull and tentacle-like dreadlocks, to being lured into a trap by half naked forest women and battling a giant hand monster (that’s right hand monster, once you see it you will know what I mean), to getting caught in a maze with a snarling Minotaur (who happens to find Courtney very sexually appealing), their journey is far from boring. Along the way, they cross paths with the strong and independent Isabel (Natalie Portman), who is reluctant to share the nature of her quest. But the question remains: Will they succeed in rescuing Bella Donna before the fuckening begins?

This movie was not the best comedy I’ve ever seen, but it definitely wasn’t the worst. No doubt, it provides copious amounts of funny quotes that you can recite with your friends. It falls into the “more-ridiculous-the-better” category, and it achieves that very well—each scene gets more ridiculous than the next. You definitely couldn’t predict what was going to happen. That being said, you also can’t go into this movie expecting a lot of high-quality content. It’s not meant to be taken seriously. In regards to how the actors worked together, I was not disappointed. The sibling rivalry achieved between Fabious (the typical first born prince next in line for the thrown that the whole kingdom loves) and Thadeous (the jealous second born son) was right on. And, although separated for most of the movie, the chemistry between Fabious and Belladonna was convincing. Even the chemistry between Courtney and the Minotaur was well portrayed! Portman’s performance as the lone traveler was quite successful, including her take on trust issues and the ability to defend herself. The storyline builds on the “journey to rescue the maiden kidnapped by an evil overlord” concept and adds many unexpected twists that I guarantee it will make you laugh at one point or another. All in all, I was glad I saw this film and would recommend it to fellow comedy fans. This movie is like watching paint dry on fifty severed Minotaur dicks.


By WhiteChick

Friday, April 15, 2011

The Minority Report - "The Source Code" (2011)


Tell me everything is gonna be okay.

Upon hearing about this movie (around the same time as “The Adjustment Bureau”), I was intrigued. Movies that play with the mind have a strange allure that is evident from the moment I hear of them. This film took the mind games a step further by utilizing memories as a way to create alternate universes in which crime solving could be done. Think of this movie as a new take on “Minority Report” that still manages to keep some humor and the idea of a fickle existence alive.

The story centers around Captain Colter Stevens (Jake Gyllenhaal), who awakens on a train with no idea how he got there. Sitting in front of him is a woman he doesn’t recognize whom apparently knows him, Christina Warren (Michelle Monaghan). After attempting to find out what is going on, there is a sudden explosion on the train as it is nearing Chicago, and the Captain, along with everyone on board, is obliterated. He wakes up strapped to what appears to be a pilot’s chair in a chamber, where he is greeted through a computer by Captain Goodwin (Vera Farmiga). It is revealed that Stevens is inside a program called the Source Code, which allows him to take advantage of the 8 minutes of memory left behind on a deceased person’s mind by taking over their body for that time. In essence, an alternative reality is created that he can examine—a parallel universe, in a sense. That morning, a train bomb had detonated and killed everyone onboard. His mission is to return to the fake past, find the bomb, and discover who the bomber was in an effort to stop a suspected dirty bomb detonation in downtown Chicago by the same person. What follows is an examination of reality, human connection, and everyone’s ultimate fate.

I’m glad I got to see this movie. It’s filming is nothing special, but the way it handles itself and examines the different ventures into the Source Code is incredibly entertaining and well thought out. The feelings of sadness, confusion, futility, and eventual responsibility for the lives in this alternate reality are ingrained into every frame. You know as much as Stevens knows throughout the film, and you find out what is going on at the same time he does. The style begins in media res (in the middle of the action), and that lends to the mystery of the activity. This movie is only slightly like watching paint dry…but only if you were trying to use the Source Code to fix mistakes that had already been made.


By Kulguy