The Minority Report - "Wreck-It Ralph" (2012)

I remember spending endless quarters in arcades. I am not old enough to remember the prime time of the arcade cabinet, but instead I was playing the classics with my reminiscing father in the belly of the slow dying beast. It was only a few years ago that the arcade finally closed their doors after years of struggling, but I am still sentimental about playing video games in an arcade. I would like to think that the people who made Wreck-It Ralph were similar to my father and me. People who grew up playing these games, respect these games, and are current with the state of video games and the arcade.

I am not biased positively because I like video games as much as I do. In fact, I view myself as a more skeptical and difficult critic to impress. What is the short verdict? I loved Wreck-it Ralph. This is how you correctly do a video game movie. It’s a story that has many levels, there is an emotional connection between characters, it tackles the bullying issue, and it looks at the presence of arcades in America. All of these issues work with the touching story that tells, unlike the earlier Disney animated movies that came out this year like Brave. I left that movie with a sour taste in my mouth, but Wreck-It Ralph redeemed Disney and left me with perhaps the most entertaining movie of the year, if not one of the best.

The story follows Ralph (voiced by John C. Reilly) who is a villain in his video game, Fix-it Felix, and wants to become a hero. Other video games make appearances in cameos (Qbert, Sonic, Bowser, etc.) and they all interact with the world that Ralph inhabits. He leaves his video game to go into another (a big no-no) to try and achieve greatness. He then goes into Hero’s Duty and causes chaos by dragging the sergeant (Jane Lynch) into the adventure. Afterwards, Ralph finds himself in the kart racing game Sugar Rush—a colorful world that features references to far more than video games. Here, he meets a small lovable girl named Vanellope von Schweetz (Sarah Silverman), who happens to be a “glitch” in the game. It is the relationship between Ralph and von Schweetz that truly inspires the movie. It’s touching and loving. It may take place in a virtual world, but it hits home in reality.

A surprise to me was the music in the movie. Henry Jackman has a sweeping soundtrack that compliments the films feel and ever changing tones. More current artists (Owl City, Skrillex) also are in the movie, which I do not hate (in fact, for the most part, I enjoyed it). There was one misstep concerning a Rihanna song, which seemed forced. The film is absolutely gorgeous. I saw the movie in 3D, which I enjoy. I feel this movie would be just as good without the 3D, though. The dialogue is intelligent and quick-moving. Overall, it is a clever and creative film that had me crying as well as laughing. The one issue I have with the movie is the ending concerning the chase and final battle. It bugged me because this event seemed too long and its villain seemed too frightening for small children.

“I’m gonna Wreck it!” is a phrase that still brings a smile to my face. This movie is nothing like watching paint dry. The final product is admiral art, just like its subject matter.

By V-Dawg

The Minority Report - "Lincoln" (2012)

The so-called “ploy” of Watching Paint Dry is that we have a college-aged perception on modern movies that come out. Our movie criticism is built on a few college-level courses in film, our unique majors which do not relate to films, and the countless number of other films that we have seen. That being said, Lincoln is a great movie. I do not recommend it if you are going on a date or in the mood for a high-flying adventure. The movie is definitely made for an older generation—its lack of visual stimuli (that is not to say it isn't pretty, because the cinematography is fantastic), for example. This movie was like watching an intriguing, down to Earth old man sit down in various places and tell stories. The intriguing aspect comes from the fact that the old man is President Lincoln in the heat of the debate over the 13th amendment.

I am not going to go over the synopsis of the film, because it is about Lincoln. We all should know the trials and tribulations of Lincoln. If not, go read some things. In fact, this movie is based on the novel Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln by Doris Goodwin. So, if you know Lincoln and know the history, why should you go see this movie? It is truly the phenomenal acting and excellent writing that make this seem like you are seeing the president in a new light.

Daniel-Day Lewis is Lincoln in this film. There was not a doubt in my mind that this is how the president would be (having never met the man, I cannot fully answer confidently on how Lincoln would act, but still). The film is exceptional in the way it treats the story of the 13^th amendment, its viewing of how American was then, and the depiction of the emotional toll the Civil War had on Americans. This also showcased the emotional strain that leading the country in such a vital time had.

It is hard to not like Lincoln, as it would be almost anti-patriotic to dislike this movie. There are a few items I did not like. Gulliver McGrath’s (playing Lincoln’s youngest son) performance was serviceable, but not the greatest. The ending also did a strange reflection of Lincoln in a flame on his death bed (Spoilers?). Overall this movie is compelling because of the intriguing character of Lincoln and the excellent acting. We will be seeing this movie, not as paint on the wall, but instead winning awards when the season arrives.

By V-Dawg

PS. I am proud of myself for writing this review absent of any Lincoln being shot, hat, or tall jokes/puns. 

The Minority Report - "The Hobbit - An Unexpected Journey" (2012)

“Far over the misty mountains cold

To dungeons deep and caverns old.”

My Sunday probably started much like everyone else’s: I woke up in a sunny tropical island and thought “I’m gonna go see a movie!” Obviously, I chose Peter Jackson’s latest entry into his JRR Tolkien-based franchise—The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. Now, I didn’t see it opening day because of two reasons: I had work and I have no friends. Let’s get real here, though, if I didn’t have work, I would have gone by myself. This film has been a very very hotly anticipated film and, I believe, might have suffered from it. First it was one movie, then two, now three; it was done in 48fps, which some people were upset about; the props and sets looked “fake” for a while there; and etc. All of this culminated in me entering the movie theater and there being maybe 20 people there, to my surprise. The movie was plagued with problems but, in the end, it has made a killing in the box office thus far (kicking out I Am Legend as the highest grossing December weekend box office hit) and I believe it turned out fairly well.

The movie begins with Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman) writing a narrative of his adventure 60 years prior. Gandalf (Ian McKellen) had tricked Bilbo into hosting a dinner party/get-together with Thorin Oakenshield (Richard Armitage) and a gang of 12 dwarves. It is here that he learns of their strife and their mission: journey to The Lonely Mountain, defeat the dragon Smaug, and take back that which has been taken from them. In their plan, Bilbo is supposed to be the “thief.” After some initial hesitation, Bilbo decides to join their party as they attempt to reclaim their lost kingdom. Along the way, we encounter orcs, trolls, goblins, and elves as we journey up the tallest mountains and down the deepest caves.

Fraught with dazzling special effects and beautiful landscapes, this movie is sure to thrill. It suffers from a slow, expository beginning that revels in details that were present in Unfinished Tales, Silmarillion, and the Appendix of The Return of the King, but picks up as soon as there’s enough backstory. The movie is very accurate to the history of Middle Earth and the book it’s based on (save some minor changes). But, because of this, it feels long-winded and full to the brim of things it makes you think you should know, but you can’t seem to put your finger on. I believe it suffers from prequel-it is: it attempts to set up everything for the future films while, at the same time, going through Bilbo and Thorins’ character arc. It does it well enough, but, in doing so, misses the mark slightly. Even still, I would highly recommend it and I, personally, enjoyed it very much. I do think that Andy Serkis and Martin Freeman killed as their respective roles, even though the whole cast did a phenomenal job. This movie is slightly like watching paint dry that was filmed at 48fps, so at least it looks more real.

By Kulguy

The Minority Report - "Puss in Boots" (2011)

I do not like the “Shrek” movies—the origin of this adorable little, Spanish kitty. Luckily, this spin-off completely severs itself from the “Shrek” movies, besides including the character Puss (Antonio Banderas) and, of course, the universe it takes place in. This is, in my opinion, the best thing that “Puss in Boots” could do. The movie not only successfully carves its own path, but also ends up being an entertaining movie.

The story is a motley of impressively intertwined fairy tales placed in a Western European setting. The story delves into the origins of Puss and his upbringing. It also includes his old time buddy, Humpty Dumpty (Zach Gilifiianakis) and his thief companion, Kitty Softpaws (Salma Hayek). I do not want to spoil the story, as it is actually very creative and full of surprises, so I will stop here.

The animation is brilliant and beautiful. The scenery and environment reminded me of the Nickelodeon-produced movie “Rango,” except it didn’t come across as desolate, rather it was more vibrant. I saw this movie in 3D and, yes, it made for the usual more immersive experience, but this movie does not need it. I will also mention that I took a girl on a date during this movie and it was a good choice—it was adorable. This is a movie good for kids and adults alike. In the end there is nothing much to say about this movie besides that it’s a fine animated film, better then the “Shrek” movies, and very enjoyable. This movie was like watching a painting dry that creatively combines several other paintings into one unique experience that is highly entertaining.


By V-Dawg

The Minority Report - "Immortals" (2011)

“Immortals” is not the epic, “300”-level movie that people were anticipating. It will not be remembered, and will quickly fade from the memories of those who paid for this visual spectacle. This movie is essentially the film equivalent of fireworks. It is pretty to look at, the audience will “ooh” and “ah,” but it will not make you feel any emotion deeper than “man, this is pretty.” Really, this movie is like the hot blonde at the bar: full of attractive looks, but cannot carry on a conversation for longer than five seconds (no offense to blondes, you’re all lovely women). The point is that “Immortals” is not winning any awards, but is capable of holding your attention for the entire running time.

The story follows Theseus (Henry Cavill) and his exploits fighting the Hyperion army led by their king (Mickey Rourke), while the gods intervene to help prevent the release of the titans. The story has been told countless times and is cliché. The dialogue essentially boils down to primitive grunts and gestures. It is just an excuse to drive the story along to lead the audience from one stunning looking local or amazing fight scene to the next. Speaking of the fight scenes, they are over the top, ludicrously bloody, and grizzly—what else could you want!? The acting is as unimpressive as the script. Regardless, this film was entertaining.

In the end, Immortals is nothing too special. It will not change your life or make you think. But, if you are looking for a movie to just turn off your brain after a long week at work, then this movie will do the trick. It is as violent as it is gorgeous. It is like watching a beautiful painting of a shirtless man kicking ass dry.


By V-Dawg

The Caucasian Report - "I Love You Phillip Morris" (2010)

~Glorious gambits and grand profits~
I had wanted to see this movie for a while, but life had gotten in the way of me actually seeing it until recently. I know what you must be thinking, how could life get in the way of seeing a Jim Carrey movie? Well, I am just as stumped as you are. While we may never have the answer to this question, I will answer the questions you have been dying to know about this movie: is it really about a gay con man? Yes. Do Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor make a cute couple? Debatable. Does it score a 10 on the laugh-o-meter? No. I was expecting this movie to be hilarious, and while there are definitely some funny parts, it is not meant to be extremely comical. Regardless, I enjoyed this movie and it is definitely worth seeing.

The movie opens with Steven Russell (Jim Carrey) explaining his life as a police officer, husband, and father. Everything seems completely normal for a while, until Steven gets into a car accident and has a moment of clarity—he wants to live the gay life. While still recovering in the hospital, he tells his wife Debbie (Leslie Mann), who is shocked of course, and leaves for Florida to start a new life. The problem is that living the gay life is expensive. In an effort to sustain a lavish lifestyle, Steven starts conning his way into massive amounts of money. He winds up in prison, where he meets Phillip Morris (Ewan McGregor), and almost immediately falls in love. What follows is their love story, complete with elaborate prison escapes and even more convincing cons.

Believe it or not, I think that Carrey might not have been the best actor to cast as the lead. This role highlighted his biggest weakness, crying scenes, and everything that goes along with it (like expressing modesty and humility). I always think the same thing when Carrey starts to cry on the screen: "This is a stretch.” However, McGregor was perfect as the character of Phillip Morris, and I was impressed with his performance. He portrayed the fearful outcast extremely well, as he was able to express vulnerability a lot better than Carrey. The plot was a bit jumpy, weaving between the past and the present several times. In that sense, it is one of those movies you have to pay attention to in order to understand what is going on. There are a few emotionally satisfying scenes scattered through the movie, so wait for those before you make any hard-and-fast judgments. This movie is like watching paint dry on a straight plaster mold and then realizing, upon more careful inspection, it is queerer than you first thought.


By WhiteChick

The Caucasian Report - "Contagion" (2011)

~Mutating Viruses and Moldering Corpses~
It was a Tuesday night at dinner, and two of my friends and I were discussing what we could do to avoid homework. That’s when one of them said that she had to see “Contagion” for a class, as she was supposed to report on five inaccuracies in the film. So, we decided, what better time than the present? We were looking for an excuse to get away from our studies anyway. So, a few hours later, we were headed to the theatre. I had absolutely no idea what to expect from the movie, but the fact that there were at least five inaccuracies did not help me form a positive impression. But hey, at least we accomplished the goal of evading our homework for the evening. That is, two of us did.

As the title describes, the movie is about the spread of disease. It starts off by depicting the story of the first victim of a new virus, Beth Emhoff (Gwyneth Paltrow). She is on her trip back home when she starts to feel ill. By the time she gets home, she is so sick that there is nothing doctors can do for her. Her husband, Mitch Emhoff (Matt Damon), receives the news of his wife’s passing in a fit of denial and rage. Soon, people in the area start dying at an alarming rate, but Mitch finds himself immune. At this point the CDC starts to get concerned, and we meet Dr. Erin Mears (Kate Winslet), an epidemiologist. She starts tracing the source of the disease by researching how victims are related and travels the country to set up clinics. Despite the efforts of the CDC to contain the disease, the epidemic becomes so serious that millions die in a matter of weeks. People desperately try to find home remedies for the disease, as the development of a vaccine turns out to be trickier than anticipated. The rest of the film follows Mitch, Dr. Mears, and the CDC in the race to stop the devastating virus.

This movie is very pretty to watch. What do I mean by that? I mean that it gets an A+ for cinematography, specifically with camera angles and movement. The movie was able to tell a story just with the filming technique employed. Most movies just film people, and therefore rely on people to tell the story. However, this film relied on people and places to tell the story along with seamless transitions and unique shots of inanimate objects. This technique worked very well with the theme of the movie, as we all know how important inanimate objects are in the story of the spread of disease. The parts where this technique is the most salient is at the beginning and the end of the film.

Storytelling is all well and good, but you must be dying to know what the five inaccuracies were. We actually found six! The first inaccuracy is the film explains that half of your immune system comes from your mother, and the other half comes from your father. This is not true, as genetics have nothing to do with immunity. Your immune system develops by coming into contact with foreign things, such as viruses, and creating antibodies to be employed in future defenses. The second inaccuracy is that the movie leads you to believe that a vaccine will work almost instantly, where in reality it takes about 26 days to incubate in your system before you acquire immunity. The third inaccuracy is that doctors tell Mitch he is immune to the virus before they knew what the virus really was. Therefore, they really had no way of testing for the presence of antibodies against the virus in his system. Fourthly, the incubation time for the virus was 24 hours in the film (to make it more threatening) which is a little too short. It usually takes 7-21 days for a virus to incubate and that’s why viruses are so difficult to detect. People can carry the virus without symptoms for awhile and unintentionally infect others. Fifth, the CDC said that the virus mutated and no one mentioned the need to develop another vaccine against the new strain of the virus. The last inaccuracy was the film employed the term pleomorphic to describe the virus, which is a little strange because this term is usually used to describe bigger cells, such as cells belonging to bacteria.

Now that the inaccuracies are out of the way, and that your inner nerd is satisfied, I have one more thing to give you a heads up about: you will wash your hands excessively for a few days after watching this movie, and will probably slightly panic if you sneeze or get a sore throat. This movie is like watching the journey of a tiny spec of paint as it grows and transforms into an unbelievable masterpiece.


By WhiteChick