The Minority Report - "The Hobbit - An Unexpected Journey" (2012)

“Far over the misty mountains cold

To dungeons deep and caverns old.”

My Sunday probably started much like everyone else’s: I woke up in a sunny tropical island and thought “I’m gonna go see a movie!” Obviously, I chose Peter Jackson’s latest entry into his JRR Tolkien-based franchise—The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. Now, I didn’t see it opening day because of two reasons: I had work and I have no friends. Let’s get real here, though, if I didn’t have work, I would have gone by myself. This film has been a very very hotly anticipated film and, I believe, might have suffered from it. First it was one movie, then two, now three; it was done in 48fps, which some people were upset about; the props and sets looked “fake” for a while there; and etc. All of this culminated in me entering the movie theater and there being maybe 20 people there, to my surprise. The movie was plagued with problems but, in the end, it has made a killing in the box office thus far (kicking out I Am Legend as the highest grossing December weekend box office hit) and I believe it turned out fairly well.

The movie begins with Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman) writing a narrative of his adventure 60 years prior. Gandalf (Ian McKellen) had tricked Bilbo into hosting a dinner party/get-together with Thorin Oakenshield (Richard Armitage) and a gang of 12 dwarves. It is here that he learns of their strife and their mission: journey to The Lonely Mountain, defeat the dragon Smaug, and take back that which has been taken from them. In their plan, Bilbo is supposed to be the “thief.” After some initial hesitation, Bilbo decides to join their party as they attempt to reclaim their lost kingdom. Along the way, we encounter orcs, trolls, goblins, and elves as we journey up the tallest mountains and down the deepest caves.

Fraught with dazzling special effects and beautiful landscapes, this movie is sure to thrill. It suffers from a slow, expository beginning that revels in details that were present in Unfinished Tales, Silmarillion, and the Appendix of The Return of the King, but picks up as soon as there’s enough backstory. The movie is very accurate to the history of Middle Earth and the book it’s based on (save some minor changes). But, because of this, it feels long-winded and full to the brim of things it makes you think you should know, but you can’t seem to put your finger on. I believe it suffers from prequel-it is: it attempts to set up everything for the future films while, at the same time, going through Bilbo and Thorins’ character arc. It does it well enough, but, in doing so, misses the mark slightly. Even still, I would highly recommend it and I, personally, enjoyed it very much. I do think that Andy Serkis and Martin Freeman killed as their respective roles, even though the whole cast did a phenomenal job. This movie is slightly like watching paint dry that was filmed at 48fps, so at least it looks more real.

By Kulguy

The Caucasian Report - "Contagion" (2011)

~Mutating Viruses and Moldering Corpses~
It was a Tuesday night at dinner, and two of my friends and I were discussing what we could do to avoid homework. That’s when one of them said that she had to see “Contagion” for a class, as she was supposed to report on five inaccuracies in the film. So, we decided, what better time than the present? We were looking for an excuse to get away from our studies anyway. So, a few hours later, we were headed to the theatre. I had absolutely no idea what to expect from the movie, but the fact that there were at least five inaccuracies did not help me form a positive impression. But hey, at least we accomplished the goal of evading our homework for the evening. That is, two of us did.

As the title describes, the movie is about the spread of disease. It starts off by depicting the story of the first victim of a new virus, Beth Emhoff (Gwyneth Paltrow). She is on her trip back home when she starts to feel ill. By the time she gets home, she is so sick that there is nothing doctors can do for her. Her husband, Mitch Emhoff (Matt Damon), receives the news of his wife’s passing in a fit of denial and rage. Soon, people in the area start dying at an alarming rate, but Mitch finds himself immune. At this point the CDC starts to get concerned, and we meet Dr. Erin Mears (Kate Winslet), an epidemiologist. She starts tracing the source of the disease by researching how victims are related and travels the country to set up clinics. Despite the efforts of the CDC to contain the disease, the epidemic becomes so serious that millions die in a matter of weeks. People desperately try to find home remedies for the disease, as the development of a vaccine turns out to be trickier than anticipated. The rest of the film follows Mitch, Dr. Mears, and the CDC in the race to stop the devastating virus.

This movie is very pretty to watch. What do I mean by that? I mean that it gets an A+ for cinematography, specifically with camera angles and movement. The movie was able to tell a story just with the filming technique employed. Most movies just film people, and therefore rely on people to tell the story. However, this film relied on people and places to tell the story along with seamless transitions and unique shots of inanimate objects. This technique worked very well with the theme of the movie, as we all know how important inanimate objects are in the story of the spread of disease. The parts where this technique is the most salient is at the beginning and the end of the film.

Storytelling is all well and good, but you must be dying to know what the five inaccuracies were. We actually found six! The first inaccuracy is the film explains that half of your immune system comes from your mother, and the other half comes from your father. This is not true, as genetics have nothing to do with immunity. Your immune system develops by coming into contact with foreign things, such as viruses, and creating antibodies to be employed in future defenses. The second inaccuracy is that the movie leads you to believe that a vaccine will work almost instantly, where in reality it takes about 26 days to incubate in your system before you acquire immunity. The third inaccuracy is that doctors tell Mitch he is immune to the virus before they knew what the virus really was. Therefore, they really had no way of testing for the presence of antibodies against the virus in his system. Fourthly, the incubation time for the virus was 24 hours in the film (to make it more threatening) which is a little too short. It usually takes 7-21 days for a virus to incubate and that’s why viruses are so difficult to detect. People can carry the virus without symptoms for awhile and unintentionally infect others. Fifth, the CDC said that the virus mutated and no one mentioned the need to develop another vaccine against the new strain of the virus. The last inaccuracy was the film employed the term pleomorphic to describe the virus, which is a little strange because this term is usually used to describe bigger cells, such as cells belonging to bacteria.

Now that the inaccuracies are out of the way, and that your inner nerd is satisfied, I have one more thing to give you a heads up about: you will wash your hands excessively for a few days after watching this movie, and will probably slightly panic if you sneeze or get a sore throat. This movie is like watching the journey of a tiny spec of paint as it grows and transforms into an unbelievable masterpiece.


By WhiteChick

The Caucasian Report - "Crazy, Stupid, Love." (2011)

~One Night Stand Leads to Love Unplanned~
After watching the trailer for this movie, I said to myself, “That doesn’t even look good.” It appeared like another hopelessly cheesy romantic comedy. So why did I decide to go see it? Well, I thought that there was a chance that my first impression was wrong or that the trailer was misleading. The cast (Steve Carell, Julianne Moore, Emma Stone, Ryan Gosling) was also pretty convincing. When I left the theater, I was surprised at how much I enjoyed it. If you are if-y about seeing this movie like I was, then I say see it because you will be pleasantly surprised.

The movie starts off with a middle-aged man named Cal (Carell) who finds out that his wife, Emily (Moore), wants a divorce. Devastated, he moves out and starts going to a local bar where he meets Jacob (Gosling), a seasoned womanizer. Jacob takes Cal under his wing and proceeds to give him all the “tricks of the trade.” Cal attempts to pick up women night after night to no avail, and is shocked once it finally works. Soon thereafter Jacob meets a girl, Hannah (Stone), that he is interested in getting to know outside of the bedroom. Finding himself in uncharted territory, Jacob now turns to Cal for advice on relationships. During all of this, Cal’s babysitter, Jessica (Tipton), falls in love with him, despite the fact that she is only a teenager. To make things even more complicated, Cal’s son, Robbie (Jonah Bobo), falls in love with Jessica. Tensions and hormones rise between characters, making the rest of the movie pretty crazy and, at times, stupid.

Some romantic comedies go way overboard on emotional content, making them more characteristic of a chick flick, and others lean so far on the comedy side that they shouldn’t even be labeled as a “romcom.” However, this film balanced legitimate humor and heart-felt fuzzies in such a way that is characteristic of a reputable romantic comedy. For that reason, I would not put this film in the “cheesy” category like I thought I would. Also, the fact that there were so many love stories going on simultaneously really keeps you engaged, and it is done in such a way that is not too hard to follow everything that’s going on. Gosling’s performance stood out as it was basically the exact opposite of roles I am used to seeing him in (i.e. “The Notebook”), and it was an impressive transformation. I was also impressed with the twist that happens towards the end. When you watch it, you will know what I’m referring to. I was absolutely not expecting it, and I know most people in my audience weren’t either as I heard several gasps. If you saw it coming then let me know because I want to give you a high five. This movie is like watching different colors of paint drying at once, and realizing that the colors complement each other perfectly.


By WhiteChick

The Minority Report - "Horrible Bosses" (2011)

“I was looking at your boss. She makes herself a little snack. A popsicle. A banana. And finally, a hot dog. And eating them in that weird order—that's not a proper meal!”
Seeing the trailer of this movie for the first time, I thought it was a delightful spin on the typical ‘my boss is a jackass’ movie. Taking it to the next level, this group of likely idiots, each with their own horrible boss, is faced with a quandary: what to do about their terrible superiors? Watching this with friends was quite enjoyable, and I got to see it relatively early when it came out in my island. I expected quite a bit from this movie, as I usually possess quite a bit of apprehension when it comes to comedies, and I am happy to say that it didn’t disappoint.

The story centers around Nick Hendricks, Kurt Buckman, and Dale Arbus. At the start of the movie, we get a glimpse of their lives at work and of their bosses. Nick’s boss is a megalomaniac that pushes everyone to the edge while always seeming to get his own way. While Nick was convinced that he was going to get a promotion for always being on time and working his butt off, his boss was actually never going to give him the promotion he so desired. Instead, he is told that if he quits, his boss will ruin his future careers by lying about everything Nick has ever done. Kurt’s boss was the nicest man ever, according to him. One day, though, he died in a car accident. This left his only son in charge of running the business. Too bad he was a cocaine sniffing, racist, sexist, crazy, overall terrible person to everyone except for prostitutes. Dale’s boss is a dentist who can’t help but sexually harass everyone she comes into contact with, but especially him. Even though he is engaged and in love, she won’t back off and goes so far as to threaten to out the things she has done to him to his fiancée if he quits. Together at a bar, they all share stories about their working lives to a choir of sympathy (except for Dale, whom both say shouldn’t be complaining). Eventually, a plan hatches out of a joke—kill each other’s bosses. What ensues is both a hilarious and enjoyable journey with a group of misfits that can’t handle the easiest of tasks.

With an air of “The Hangover,” the movie was undoubtedly funny. The situations they are put through at work resonate with anyone that has ever held a job, and make you feel enraged at their treatment. These characters are nice, honest people that decided to do something about their predicament. The way the direction and cinematography of the movie flows is interesting, though I can’t put my finger on where it comes from or why it feels different. The sure thing one can expect from a movie like this is that there is a reflection of each of us in these characters. You can see yourself in one of them in at least one scene. The humor also feels honest and realistic. They each occasionally talk over and expand each other’s comments in a way that we do every day. This is what I believe can make or break a comedy. It can be funny, but if it doesn’t feel honest, it loses its power. This movie is like watching paint dry in the many offices around the world where horrible bosses preside.


By Kulguy

The Minority Report - "Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows – Part 2" (2011)

“Only I can live forever.”
This is it…the last chapter in the saga. This is the movie no one was waiting for. After this movie, it's finally the end of everything "Harry Potter." For me, it has just ended as of a few hours ago. Honestly, I'm a big fan of the franchise (book-wise) and have been for some time now. The thing is, book aside, this was an excellent movie. David Yates finally proved to me that he isn't a bad director; he just needs four movies to get the hang of it. “Deathly Hallows – Part 2” really delivered on its expected dose of action, acting, suspense, story, and drama. The movie went out with a bang.

The film begins where the previous left off: Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes) has just attained the Elder Wand and is about to wage war against a reformed Hogwards under its new headmaster, Snape (Alan Rickman). Life is tough for those in the school, but even tougher for Harry (Daniel Radcliffe), Ron (Rupert Grint), and Hermione (Emma Watson), who just got done burying their friend and have to break into Gringotts bank to find yet another horcrux. After a harrowing escape on a dragon, they finally get back to Hogwarts in time for the attack. Good and evil are pitted in a war to the death where both sides will suffer losses. What ensues is an epic battle between the darkest wizard of all time and a kid that, over the course of seven years, has matured into a hero.

That’s pretty much all that can be said without spoiling the journey in the movie (even if you have already read the book). From the moment the movie begins, it is instant beautiful cinematography. Unlike its predecessor, this film doesn’t rely solely on its landscapes and panning shots to get you through the motions. Rather, it blends together artful direction with the brazen storytelling that Yates should have had from the beginning. When you aren’t surrounded by intense action, you are getting serious drama via dialogue; when you aren’t being torn apart on the inside by the drama, you are getting slapped in the face with some comedic moments here and there. This movie honestly seems to have it all. You can tell that the actors have been through a lot and have grown up since their early days. What results from this is an amazing farewell from a motley of great actors including Alan Rickman and Ralph Fiennes. This is a summer blockbuster that is all it is cracked up to be and more. It is most definitely not like watching paint dry on a canvas detailing the final magical clash between good and evil.


By Kulguy

The Minority Report - "The Hangover Part II" (2011)

Sometimes it is not about the destination, it is about the journey; and other times it is about where you end up, not how you got there. “The Hangover Part II” seems to fall into neither of these categories, as the destination and the journey are a photo copied, clone of its predecessor. Want to see the “The Hangover Part II”? I recommend watching “The Hangover,” except add some more penises and a monkey. The plots are identical, the situations are identical, the timing of some of the gags is identical, and the ending is identical. The only thing not shared between both of these films is the amount of laughs. “The Hangover Part II” simply is not as funny and, more importantly, not as memorable.

The plot for this movie is the exact same as the first. Stu (Ed Helms) is getting married. His friends Phil (Bradley Cooper), Doug (Justin Bartha), and Alan (Zach Galifianakis), go to Thailand for the wedding. Surprise, surprise: Stu, Phil, and Alan awake from a drug-induced coma that leaves them amnesic of the prior night’s events, with Stu’s soon-to-be-bride’s little brother missing. It is up to the trio to find the little brother in Bangkok before the wedding.

Simply put, this movie is a clone of the first one and comes off as money hungry. It relies more on sight gags and cheap laughs. Even though the scope of the film is increased, it does not seem to have any direct effect on how gigantic the events were from the original film. It is its own worst enemy. Nothing can top finding out that they stole a cop car and Mike Tyson’s tiger. The expectations were far too high for the sequel to succeed. The themes of the second film were darker in tone and not as playful as the first, and this gives it a tad more personality. This movie overall did make me laugh, but upon a second viewing, it had already lost some of its luster. This movie is like watching someone paint a mustache on the Mona Lisa, changing the original slightly, but, overall, it is the same damned thing.


By V-Dawg

The Minority Report - "Sucker Punch" (2011)

“What you’re imagining right now—you control this world.”
This is one of those movies that I saw the trailer for a long time ago (a year or year and a half, more or less) and have been waiting for ever since. My initial thoughts on the trailer were: “Holy crap” and “That is awesome!” For me, the attractiveness of the cast never factors in the equation. I don’t go to see a movie because someone visually appealing is acting in it. That is a terrible way to judge movies. That said, I’m pretty sure that most of the advertisement of this movie went to showing how attractive a bunch of petite girls fighting in short skirts are. Sad really, but what actually attracted me to this movie initially was its premise. In all honesty, it didn’t let me down. It was exactly what I expected, though; it wasn’t better and it wasn’t worse.

The story centers around a 20-year-old who is referred to throughout the movie as “Baby Doll” (Emily Browning). Her mother passed away and her stepfather is upset because the family fortune is being left to her and her sister. In a burst of anger, her father locks her in her room and proceeds to try and molest her younger sister. In defense, of her sister, “Baby Doll” threatens her step father with a gun and shoots at him, killing her little sister accidentally. Because of this, she is institutionalized in a mental hospital. Here, she is encouraged by Dr. Vera Gorski (Carla Gugino) to retreat into a fantasy world of her creation to deal with all of the bad around her. Here, she formulates a plan to escape from the mental institution, with the help of other girls currently residing there. What ensues is an action-packed journey through the wondrous imagination of “Baby Doll” as she lives her real life as a dream. This puts everyone in incredible scenarios that could only be dreamed of.

The movie was visually astounding. Even though it has gotten mixed to negative reviews, everyone can still praise the cinematography, directing, and art employed throughout. It was lacking a bit in character development, that’s for sure, but that doesn’t make it an entirely bad film. I highly enjoyed it and almost all of the people I was with did as well. People are annoyed because it plays out like a video game of sorts, but the thing is that most of the impossible and crazy scenarios employed take place in her imagination. Get a grip and loosen up is what I have to say. It is meant to be far-fetched because, in all honesty, who has normal dreams populated by normal rules that actually make sense? When do people say things that aren’t corny in your dreams? Nothing makes sense! If anyone asked me if they should go and see this movie, I would say yes. It is a fantastic ride through the mind of a mentally ill woman that takes us to the ends of the world. This movie is like watching paint dry, if it is inside the imagination of the artist and is slowing down and speeding up in fantastic fight sequences within itself.

By Kulguy

The Minority Report - "Inception" (2010)

“What's the most resilient parasite? An idea. A single idea from the human mind can build cities. An idea can transform the world and rewrite all the rules. Which is why I have to steal it.”
This movie has been on my “to watch” list for the longest time. Ever since I saw the 1st commercial about a half year ago, I was hooked on finding out how the production of the movie was going and when it was going to be released. Considering the fact that in the US it was released a week before we got it, there was a lot of talk about it over Facebook, Twitter, the newspapers, and movie review websites. It was hard to avoid spoilers and keep up to date with all things Inception, but somehow, I managed to do it. The day it came out here, I was immediately there.

The basic premise of the movie is that a man by the name of Dominic Cobb (Leonardo DiCaprio) is a type of futuristic extractor of information. The process involves the extractor infiltrating the dreams of someone that possesses information that could not be obtained through normal methods. Because of his experiences with his family and what he now does, he cannot sleep well or dream and he also can’t return to the United States. The recurring appearances of his wife, Mal (Marion Cotillard), in his missions because of his subconscious have almost compromised a couple of missions, but when he is offered a chance to see his family again if he completes a mission, he can’t help but accept. The man that hires him, Saito (Ken Watanabe), is rich and powerful, and can make basically any wish come true. At his behest, Cobb searches and finds a new dream world architect called Adriadne (Ellen Page), a forger that can change personas and identities within dreams called Eames (Tom Hardy), and a chemist that makes a strong sedative not available on the market called Yusuf (Dileep Rao); all of these people will join him and his friend and colleague, Arthur (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), as they pull off the mental heist. The target is a man named Robert Fischer (Cillian Murphy), who is the son of Maurice Fischer (Pete Postlethwaite), a man who is terminally ill and also happens to be Saito’s business rival. The mission is meant to plant the seed of a thought in the mind of Robert Fischer through a process called “inception,” which will make him want to break apart his father’s company as soon as he passes away. What begins as a simple plan quickly turns into a major commitment with many troubles and many dream levels that winds you down and bends your mind almost as much as it bends the storyline.

After I walked out of the movie, I was in love. It was intricate in both plotline and visuals. The way that the scenes were set up made them perfect eye candy for people that enjoy sets and special effects—specifically the scenes involving changes in gravity. The plotline was all but genius, and the way that the story moved along was just right to successfully transmit the information that was going on in all the dream levels. The only thing that went without much of an explanation after being mentioned was the timescale of the dreams. It was brought up in an off-handed way, but not clearly visible in the actual movie. Apart from that, though, the movie was a wonder to behold. Christopher Nolan did an excellent job as director and producer, but specifically as the writer of such an exciting adventure. I recommend everyone to see it if you can. This movie is definitely not like watching paint dry within paint drying within paint drying within paint drying.

By Kulguy

The Minority Report - "Clash of the Titans" (2010)

“Release the Kracken!”
Those words will resonate in your head for hours after viewing “Clash of the Titans.” This movie is a remake of the 1981 epic Greek mythology spin-off. More aptly phrased, it is a highly bad-ass version of the 1981 movie. There is no clay-mation to be found; instead, there are premier special effects, which are mind blowing. They are mind blowing not because they are the best special effects to date, but because they are used efficiently to convey the scenes in an exciting and action oriented way. When you see the computer generated behemoths in action, you can’t but squeal in joy. These action scenes of great proportions will almost make you forget the lack of character development, a very spotty plot, and an overall cheesy film.

The film revolves around a man named Perseus who was found floating in the ocean by a humble fisherman. Lo and behold, Perseus finds out that he is a demigod (“The One”), and becomes the center of a conflict to kill the Gods. This then becomes an overall journey that will bring a team of various warriors together in different locations, where a motley of adversaries try and stop them from their mission to kill the Gods. This movie boils down to any other shallow action movie set in a different location and time period.

I will be straight and say that this movie entertained me. It did not inspire emotion, it did not redefine the action genre, and it did not even make me think. It was an uninspired remake that took the plot of the original and added some 2010 action to the mix. I know it may sound as though I am ragging on this movie pretty harshly, but it was an entertaining night at the movies. I gaped in awe at the spectacles of action and the large beasts that ravaged the land. All in all, this entire movie is like releasing the Kracken! Nah, it’s like watching a 21st century remake of paint drying.

By V-Dawg