The Minority Report - "Immortals" (2011)

“Immortals” is not the epic, “300”-level movie that people were anticipating. It will not be remembered, and will quickly fade from the memories of those who paid for this visual spectacle. This movie is essentially the film equivalent of fireworks. It is pretty to look at, the audience will “ooh” and “ah,” but it will not make you feel any emotion deeper than “man, this is pretty.” Really, this movie is like the hot blonde at the bar: full of attractive looks, but cannot carry on a conversation for longer than five seconds (no offense to blondes, you’re all lovely women). The point is that “Immortals” is not winning any awards, but is capable of holding your attention for the entire running time.

The story follows Theseus (Henry Cavill) and his exploits fighting the Hyperion army led by their king (Mickey Rourke), while the gods intervene to help prevent the release of the titans. The story has been told countless times and is cliché. The dialogue essentially boils down to primitive grunts and gestures. It is just an excuse to drive the story along to lead the audience from one stunning looking local or amazing fight scene to the next. Speaking of the fight scenes, they are over the top, ludicrously bloody, and grizzly—what else could you want!? The acting is as unimpressive as the script. Regardless, this film was entertaining.

In the end, Immortals is nothing too special. It will not change your life or make you think. But, if you are looking for a movie to just turn off your brain after a long week at work, then this movie will do the trick. It is as violent as it is gorgeous. It is like watching a beautiful painting of a shirtless man kicking ass dry.


By V-Dawg

The Minority Report - "Daybreakers" (2010)

“Living in a world where vampires are the dominant species is about as safe as bare backing a 5 dollar whore.”
This movie was a pleasant rescue from an otherwise doomed vampire genre thanks to the likes of the “Twilight Saga.” Instead of offering a world where vampires are hiding from the ever-present human race, or attempting to live a semblance of a normal life amongst the humans, this movie examines what a society of vampires would be like. Everything from blood banks to life at night has been, in essence, reverse engineered to reflect what it would be like to live in a world where, like the above quote says, vampires are the dominant species. It all boils down to vampirism being as common as the sun during the day and the stars at night.

The story centers on a pandemic that converted most of the world’s populace into vampires. The few humans left are fighting desperately to survive, and the United State’s marines have been reassigned to capture humans in the blood wars. Because of the scarcity during these days, there is much research into a blood replacement that can be made synthetically and mass-produced. Because of the lack of blood, many vampires have begun a horrible transformation that turns them into savage beasts that resemble most vampires from ancient lore. In comes the protagonist, Edward Dalton (Ethan Hawke). He is a hematologist and is working for a cure to the dwindling supplies of blood and the security of the continuation of their species. He is a straight-edge vampire and secretly refuses to drink human blood because of his ever-present respect for them. This puts a strain on familial ties with his brother, who belongs to a group of vampires who hunt humans. Soon, because of his sympathy for the human plight, he meets a group of people attempting to survive, and a man who says he is cured.

This movie, though a legitimate vampire movie, doesn’t focus on the romance, or the secret lives of vampires. Instead, it is about the plight of both the vampires and the humans. While it makes its way through, one gets glimpses into the vampirical society. This was perhaps my favorite parts. They seem to thrive on examining aspects of the vampire collective that one would not typically think of—vampire suicide, daytime driving, the stock market, and forest fires, among others. Apart from the societal aspects, the movie has many sequences that are very artful and elicit a noticeable “lack of light” feeling. All in all, it kept me very entertained, and the slight lack of character depth did not bother me. Its construction imparted the thought that the people knew where the plot was going from the beginning and they wanted to create an atmosphere of darkness so powerful, it was almost representative of solitude. This movie was like watching paint dry, but the paint was of a science fiction future where vandals had drawn fangs on all the people.

By Kulguy