The Caucasian Report - "Crazy, Stupid, Love." (2011)

~One Night Stand Leads to Love Unplanned~
After watching the trailer for this movie, I said to myself, “That doesn’t even look good.” It appeared like another hopelessly cheesy romantic comedy. So why did I decide to go see it? Well, I thought that there was a chance that my first impression was wrong or that the trailer was misleading. The cast (Steve Carell, Julianne Moore, Emma Stone, Ryan Gosling) was also pretty convincing. When I left the theater, I was surprised at how much I enjoyed it. If you are if-y about seeing this movie like I was, then I say see it because you will be pleasantly surprised.

The movie starts off with a middle-aged man named Cal (Carell) who finds out that his wife, Emily (Moore), wants a divorce. Devastated, he moves out and starts going to a local bar where he meets Jacob (Gosling), a seasoned womanizer. Jacob takes Cal under his wing and proceeds to give him all the “tricks of the trade.” Cal attempts to pick up women night after night to no avail, and is shocked once it finally works. Soon thereafter Jacob meets a girl, Hannah (Stone), that he is interested in getting to know outside of the bedroom. Finding himself in uncharted territory, Jacob now turns to Cal for advice on relationships. During all of this, Cal’s babysitter, Jessica (Tipton), falls in love with him, despite the fact that she is only a teenager. To make things even more complicated, Cal’s son, Robbie (Jonah Bobo), falls in love with Jessica. Tensions and hormones rise between characters, making the rest of the movie pretty crazy and, at times, stupid.

Some romantic comedies go way overboard on emotional content, making them more characteristic of a chick flick, and others lean so far on the comedy side that they shouldn’t even be labeled as a “romcom.” However, this film balanced legitimate humor and heart-felt fuzzies in such a way that is characteristic of a reputable romantic comedy. For that reason, I would not put this film in the “cheesy” category like I thought I would. Also, the fact that there were so many love stories going on simultaneously really keeps you engaged, and it is done in such a way that is not too hard to follow everything that’s going on. Gosling’s performance stood out as it was basically the exact opposite of roles I am used to seeing him in (i.e. “The Notebook”), and it was an impressive transformation. I was also impressed with the twist that happens towards the end. When you watch it, you will know what I’m referring to. I was absolutely not expecting it, and I know most people in my audience weren’t either as I heard several gasps. If you saw it coming then let me know because I want to give you a high five. This movie is like watching different colors of paint drying at once, and realizing that the colors complement each other perfectly.


By WhiteChick

The Minority Report - "Rubber" (2010)

“All great films, without exception, contain an important element of no reason.”
A movie about a tire—yes, I was interested immediately. Before I knew it, I had already shown the trailer to four people, including V-Dawg. The reaction I got was the same: they would not pay money to see the movie. I disagreed. I felt that it was original and quirky enough to merit an opportunity. After a while, V-Dawg called me up and said that “Rubber” was playing in a theater near us and that we should go. Surprised by the change of opinion, I happily agreed. We took a group of people to watch the film, and what follows is my attempt at making sense out of nonsense.

The movie begins with a police officer talking to everyone watching the movie about the importance of nonsense in movies. Things, according to him, happen for no reason whatsoever, and he claims that the movie will take this basic tenet of the film industry to a new level. When he leaves, it is revealed that he was talking to a group of people that will be watching a movie. The only difference is that they are watching the ‘movie’ play out in real time and in real life through binoculars from a mountaintop next to a small town and a desert. Here’s where the story truly begins, for out in the desert lies a lonesome truck tire. Slowly, the tire is observed as it comes to life and moves on its own. The audience follows it in a voyage of self-discovery and consciousness as it attempts to make sense of the world around it. When it discovers a can on the ground, it rolls over it and crushes it. In its glee, it continues crushing miscellaneous objects until it comes across a scorpion and crushes it as well. It seems to notice that the animal was alive before, but that it had taken its life away. Taking some sort of sadistic pleasure from this fact, it continues crushing and killing small objects and animals until it comes across a glass bottle. Because of its sturdiness, the bottle isn’t broken by the continued assault of the psychotic tire. It becomes angered to the point where its entire body shakes and emanates some strange heat and sound until the bottle breaks apart—the tire also possesses telekinesis. It continues to kill other animals until it comes across a man in a gas station and kills him too. Now it is up to the police squad to find out who the mysterious killer is and why it is doing such things in an effort to provide the best entertainment to the audience that is still watching on the mountaintop.

This story within a story is, as V-Dawg very aptly put it, an anti-movie. The basic premise—a telekinetic psycho tire that achieves consciousness—is as ridiculous as it is far-fetched. With very distinct nods to famous movies throughout, irony and dark humor saturate the film. The filmmakers have to be given credit for creating a movie based around a main character that is literally a tire. Watching this film, you will feel everything from intrigue and sadness to confusion. The thing is, that is the point. It makes fun of movies and, consequently, of itself. It is a movie that fulfills the job of spreading its message of not taking anything seriously, seriously. The ultimate irony in the film is that in all its nonsense, it gets the point across beautifully and artistically. Even though it can be slow at times, it was an enjoyable tale of a tire that got a bit carried away. This movie is like watching paint dry on the side of a tire baking under the desert sun.


By Kulguy

The Minority Report - "Horrible Bosses" (2011)

“I was looking at your boss. She makes herself a little snack. A popsicle. A banana. And finally, a hot dog. And eating them in that weird order—that's not a proper meal!”
Seeing the trailer of this movie for the first time, I thought it was a delightful spin on the typical ‘my boss is a jackass’ movie. Taking it to the next level, this group of likely idiots, each with their own horrible boss, is faced with a quandary: what to do about their terrible superiors? Watching this with friends was quite enjoyable, and I got to see it relatively early when it came out in my island. I expected quite a bit from this movie, as I usually possess quite a bit of apprehension when it comes to comedies, and I am happy to say that it didn’t disappoint.

The story centers around Nick Hendricks, Kurt Buckman, and Dale Arbus. At the start of the movie, we get a glimpse of their lives at work and of their bosses. Nick’s boss is a megalomaniac that pushes everyone to the edge while always seeming to get his own way. While Nick was convinced that he was going to get a promotion for always being on time and working his butt off, his boss was actually never going to give him the promotion he so desired. Instead, he is told that if he quits, his boss will ruin his future careers by lying about everything Nick has ever done. Kurt’s boss was the nicest man ever, according to him. One day, though, he died in a car accident. This left his only son in charge of running the business. Too bad he was a cocaine sniffing, racist, sexist, crazy, overall terrible person to everyone except for prostitutes. Dale’s boss is a dentist who can’t help but sexually harass everyone she comes into contact with, but especially him. Even though he is engaged and in love, she won’t back off and goes so far as to threaten to out the things she has done to him to his fiancée if he quits. Together at a bar, they all share stories about their working lives to a choir of sympathy (except for Dale, whom both say shouldn’t be complaining). Eventually, a plan hatches out of a joke—kill each other’s bosses. What ensues is both a hilarious and enjoyable journey with a group of misfits that can’t handle the easiest of tasks.

With an air of “The Hangover,” the movie was undoubtedly funny. The situations they are put through at work resonate with anyone that has ever held a job, and make you feel enraged at their treatment. These characters are nice, honest people that decided to do something about their predicament. The way the direction and cinematography of the movie flows is interesting, though I can’t put my finger on where it comes from or why it feels different. The sure thing one can expect from a movie like this is that there is a reflection of each of us in these characters. You can see yourself in one of them in at least one scene. The humor also feels honest and realistic. They each occasionally talk over and expand each other’s comments in a way that we do every day. This is what I believe can make or break a comedy. It can be funny, but if it doesn’t feel honest, it loses its power. This movie is like watching paint dry in the many offices around the world where horrible bosses preside.


By Kulguy

The Minority Report - "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" (2011)

“Caesar is home.”
This movie definitely had big shoes to fill to say the least. The original “Planet of the Apes” film was absolutely superb in most every way, and a prequel claiming to give rise to the former needed to do outshine all of the previous attempts. That it did. I love the original series and was looking forward to this movie, unlike some of my counterparts. It seemingly came out of nowhere and proved that sequels (or prequels, for that matter) can be excellent movies in and of themselves.

The story begins with a scene in Africa, where the natives are capturing apes. They are getting shipped to a testing facility under the direction of a man by the name of Will Rodman (James Franco) who is in the process of developing a cure for Alzheimer’s, which he tests on the captured apes. Soon, he finds that one of the apes has immensely increased intelligence due to the ALZ-112 drug he is developing. They present the results to a board of directors and investors that wish will decide to market the product or not, but the meeting is disrupted by the intelligent ape, who is shot. It turns out she was a female and had lashed out only because she felt her baby, who she had given birth to secretly, was threatened by the researchers. This puts a damper on Will’s plan to possibly cure Alzheimer’s since his lab is left without chimps after they force the researchers to put them all down, and because he also takes the baby chimp to his home so that it won’t get killed like the others. There, he raises it to keep his father, Charles (John Lithgow), who has Alzheimer’s, company. What began as a temporary house guest soon becomes part of the family as he gains more and more intelligence along the way. Will records the progress and realizes that the ape, whom he named Caesar (Andy Serkis), has inherited the genes for intelligence from his mother. Soon, terrible circumstances force Caesar into a situation where he has to take charge and grow as an ape and as an eventual person. The future of the world is at stake.

Treading a fine line between retribution and compassion, Caesar’s character accepts the role of protagonist in an inspiringly human way. The emotions displayed by the apes and humans alike drag you in and don’t let go. You find yourself hoping and praying that the apes get their way, as the conditions for both sides get worse and worse. Will’s fight against the ravages of Alzheimer’s on his father is emotionally charged and deeply saddening. Here is a man who has dedicated his entire life to save his father, but has created something different as a result. Special praise has to be given to Weta Digital—the company which created the special effects in the film. If the apes wouldn’t have been so realistic, the drama would not have been felt the way it was. The interaction between the real world and the special effects was flawless, and the detail and craftsmanship of the apes was impressive. A film both inspiring and terrifying in its scope, it really brings home new ideas on what it is to be human. This film is only slightly like watching paint dry on redwood trees that tell the story of the rise of the apes.


By Kulguy

The Minority Report - "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" (2011)

"Bee, there's something else going on here. The moon program, the cover-ups, the assassinations, it's all led to this..."
After the second movie, I was honestly debating going to see this one. The second one was full of racist and unnecessarily obscene humor, terrible dialogue, and a senseless and overblown plot. The thing is, there was a part of me that wanted to give one of my favorite series as a child a second chance. It was almost as if the Optimus from the original animated series was telling me to do the right thing. So, I ended up watching it. Here’s what I thought…

The film opens up on the planet of Cybertron when a spacecraft called the Ark, known to be carrying an invention capable of ending the long-winded war between the Autobots and Decepticons, escapes from the area and crash lands on the far side of Earth’s moon. NASA detects this and launches the Apollo program with the help of John F. Kennedy to put a man on the moon as a cover for finding the craft. After the astronauts find the craft, the film moves to the present day where the Autobots are helping the US military in a quest for global peace. In their missions, they discover alien technology at Chernobyl and venture to the far side of the moon to find its origins. There, they find Sentinel Prime, one of the leaders of the Autobots, and reboot him in an effort to find out what is going on. He tells them that the secret invention was a space bridge that was meant to teleport matter between two points. All the while, Sam Witwicky (Shia LeBeouf) is upset because he can’t be part of the ongoing missions and has lost almost all connection with his Autobot friends. On his job, he is given information by a coworker who is subsequently murdered by a Decepticon. He attempts to go to the Autobots to tell them about what is occurring as more people lose their lives, and that’s when all hell breaks loose. It leads to the ultimate battle between a great evil and the ultimate force of sentient good in the universe.

As can be ascertained from the description, the plot is still overblown. At least this time, it isn’t exactly senseless. The movie achieves something which its predecessor lacked: it has the feel of the original. Even though the storytelling is still sub-par and some of the humor misses the mark, it tries to be as charming and as fresh as the movie that started the franchise. One thing that has upset me from the beginning and did even more in this movie is how Michael Bay focuses a few too many minutes of precious plotline on shots of the female ‘lead’ (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley)—if she could be called that. It almost makes her a selling point in the movie. I understand the phrase ‘sex sells,’ but there are still people out there that enjoy a movie because it is good and not because some English model is walking around looking surprisingly not beat up and dusty in every scene after an explosion. Apart from that, I must mention that I watched it in 3D and, once again, I don’t think it was worth it. One of my cousins was with me and, being 7 years old, I expected him to enjoy the 3D depth and action. As it turns out, after we left the theater, he said he had decided that he didn’t really like 3D. Good man. This movie is like watching paint dry on a pillar that is teleporting sentient robot beings to destroy the Earth.


By Kulguy

The Minority Report - "Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows – Part 2" (2011)

“Only I can live forever.”
This is it…the last chapter in the saga. This is the movie no one was waiting for. After this movie, it's finally the end of everything "Harry Potter." For me, it has just ended as of a few hours ago. Honestly, I'm a big fan of the franchise (book-wise) and have been for some time now. The thing is, book aside, this was an excellent movie. David Yates finally proved to me that he isn't a bad director; he just needs four movies to get the hang of it. “Deathly Hallows – Part 2” really delivered on its expected dose of action, acting, suspense, story, and drama. The movie went out with a bang.

The film begins where the previous left off: Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes) has just attained the Elder Wand and is about to wage war against a reformed Hogwards under its new headmaster, Snape (Alan Rickman). Life is tough for those in the school, but even tougher for Harry (Daniel Radcliffe), Ron (Rupert Grint), and Hermione (Emma Watson), who just got done burying their friend and have to break into Gringotts bank to find yet another horcrux. After a harrowing escape on a dragon, they finally get back to Hogwarts in time for the attack. Good and evil are pitted in a war to the death where both sides will suffer losses. What ensues is an epic battle between the darkest wizard of all time and a kid that, over the course of seven years, has matured into a hero.

That’s pretty much all that can be said without spoiling the journey in the movie (even if you have already read the book). From the moment the movie begins, it is instant beautiful cinematography. Unlike its predecessor, this film doesn’t rely solely on its landscapes and panning shots to get you through the motions. Rather, it blends together artful direction with the brazen storytelling that Yates should have had from the beginning. When you aren’t surrounded by intense action, you are getting serious drama via dialogue; when you aren’t being torn apart on the inside by the drama, you are getting slapped in the face with some comedic moments here and there. This movie honestly seems to have it all. You can tell that the actors have been through a lot and have grown up since their early days. What results from this is an amazing farewell from a motley of great actors including Alan Rickman and Ralph Fiennes. This is a summer blockbuster that is all it is cracked up to be and more. It is most definitely not like watching paint dry on a canvas detailing the final magical clash between good and evil.


By Kulguy

The Caucasian Report - "Mr. Popper's Penguins" (2011)

~Unlikely Guest Puts Popper to the Test~
When I saw the preview for this picture, it was apparent that its purpose was to please younger people. Despite the puerile plotline, I was always planning on seeing it because it’s practically impossible for me to pass up a Jim Carrey movie. This film is precisely what can be expected: an updated presentation of the popular 1938 children’s parable. You simply can’t go into the theater anticipating a profound experience. What you can expect is a preposterous amount of penguin cuteness.

The movie is about Mr. Popper (Jim Carrey), a powerful and passionate businessman in the prime of his life. After his father’s passing, he is left a particularly peculiar inheritance. One day, a pretty large package appears at his door. Upon opening it, Mr. Popper finds the last thing he expected—a live penguin. Due to a communication problem, when he attempts to send the penguin back, he is sent five more instead. Amongst his penguin panic, his ex-wife (Carla Gugino) and kids (Madeline Carroll, Maxwell Perry Cotton) stop by for his son’s birthday party. The boy’s persistent pleas persuade Mr. Popper to keep the penguins in his possession. Before long, Mr. Popper finds himself growing partial to the penguins. He proceeds to prop his doors open in the middle of winter and pile snow into his living room. Thanks to the penguins, Mr. Popper starts to put a higher priority on parenting and pays less attention to work. Who knew that a pack of playful penguins would be just what the doctor prescribed for Mr. Popper?

The film puts a contemporary spin on the story of Mr. Popper. If you happen to be familiar with the book, be prepared for the movie to be completely different. Provided, I do think the story had to be adapted to produce something applicable to the 21st century, the screenwriters pulled it off superbly. The best part of this movie is the inspiring message it portrays—spend a predominant portion of your time with the people you love. The movie’s weak point was that it was extremely predictable. There is a high probability that any predictions you ponder will play out right before your eyes. As far as acting goes, I am positive this wasn’t Carrey’s paramount performance, but it probably wasn’t his poorest either. It is someplace in the middle of the road. It was a pleasant surprise to see that Angela Lansbury had an important part. She was the perfect actress to place as the prudent Mrs. Van Gundy—the first person who doesn’t fall prey to Mr. Popper’s perfected charm. This movie is like watching paint dry, only if the paint is black and white with a hint of orange here and there.


By WhiteChick