The Minority Report - "Black Swan" (2010)

Some will hail “Black Swan,” as a cinematic masterpiece. They will find this movie to be a profound, intelligent, suspense driven drama that will go down as a classic through the ages. While others will call it indie garbage and an excuse to watch Natalie Portman strokes her va-jay-jay for two hours. My opinion of the movie rests somewhere in the middle as it is not the greatest movie ever created and also not the worst. Coming out of the theater, all I could utter was “Eh.” I know that others will argue with me about my apathetic review of this movie and others will agree with it. I seem to have the same problem with all of Darren Aronofsky’s ("Requiem for a Dream", "The Wrestler") films. I know I will always rest on the “I do not get it” part of the audience when it comes to these types of films. A film like this, you have to approach with the pace of an over analytical art critic strolling through the Louvre, which does not make for an entertaining afternoon. Instead, it makes for one with yawns and images you cannot understand. At times, the movie shoves the fact that it has deeper meaning and practically screams that it thinks itself a visual masterpiece. This makes it at times come off as pretentious.

The film follows Nina (Natalie Portman), a ballet dancer who soon finds herself in the lead role of Swan Lake. Nina is selected because of her perfection for the white swan part of the production, but slowly loses her mind and transforms into the part she so desperately desires—the black swan. Mila Kunis ("The Book of Eli") also plays the seductive Lily, who just adds paranoia to Nina, fueling her delusions. It is a trip through the rabbit hole.

The film is average in the sense of story, is filled with unnecessary scenes, but the cinematography is top notch. Some shots are especially remarkable. The use of mirrors is equally as astonishing. The way it is filmed is unique and makes the film truly art. Yet, even art can leave one uninspired and with a sense of “eh.” The film is nothing special and I know others will argue. It is not necessarily bad, just not special. You never get the feeling of “I am watching a masterpiece.” At times I felt that my money was spent on soft core porn with a suspenseful story. It leaves a lot for the viewer to interpret. All in all, it is like watching abstract art by a famous artist with a name you cannot pronounce, and at the end of the day you still do not know the point of, dry.

By V-Dawg

The Minority Report - "Primer" (2004)

“What I'm saying is, we drop the box down on it, okay, focus our own magnetic field to negate and knock out the inverse—what's going on inside the ceramic—and that should change the transition temperature to something we can work with.”
What happens when a mathematician/engineer decides to write a screenplay? You get this movie. Primer is what I am calling, as a warning (to those of you who like fully understanding movies and not having to cycle through things said 10 times before you only slightly understand them), an intellectual’s movie. I had to watch it twice before I fully understood the plotline. I still don’t fully comprehend the math and engineering, though. This movie is a shock to the dying heart of the sci-fi genre as more and more ideas get recycled. I can’t describe this movie as a simple sci-fi movie, nor can I call it a simple time travel movie. I wish to describe it, rather, as a journey into the full extent of human ignorance and innocence in the face of omnipotence. It is truly an intertwined story of self discovery as well as a psychological masterpiece.

The story begins with a voiceover that guides most of the movie along. Four different friends—Aaron (Shane Carruth), Abe (David Sullivan), Robert (Casey Gooden), and Phillip (Anand Upadhyaya)—all working different jobs, occasionally meet up in a garage to make a pet project that is supposed to counter the effects of gravity. One day, Aaron and Abe decide to go ahead themselves with the project and leave the others in the dark. This is when things get freaky. Abe one day discovers that when he leaves a watch inside the machine when it’s on, the watch will show a 1300-fold increase in time. Also, when Abe finds a protein coating the inside of the machine and realizes that the amount can only be produced over a number of years, not minutes, by certain fungi, he ascertains that the machine must be allowing the objects inside to travel through time. What ensues is the creation of a machine where they can enter and travel through time themselves, causing a chain of events that tests both of their resolves and holds many philosophical and personal implications.

Not recommended for movie nights, this movie should be one to watch when you are in an intellectual splurge. Get a couple of your smartest friends, watch it, and then have your brains fried for a couple of days. From its low budget, to its amazingly complex and technical dialogue, this movie is definitely tailor made for a small viewer audience. It has the honesty of an indie film, and yet the ability to stand up to most big-budget films. The way it is filmed is beautiful in a way that makes you want to contemplate every frame and enjoy every second, however fleeting it may be. This movie is like watching paint dry, but being able to turn back the clock, so if you want, the paint can be fresh again every time you go back.

By Kulguy

The Minority Report - "Scott Pilgrim vs. The World" (2010)

“That's it! You cocky cock! You'll pay for your crimes against humanity!”
Fantastic, highly-anticipated, breathtaking visuals—need I say more? I actually saw the trailer to this movie about 6 months before the movie came out (as I usually do…it kind of sucks) and I had been awaiting it ever since. What caught my attention was the actual filming. The movie looked like it was going to be a cross between a comic book and a video game. I had no idea how correct I was. I watched this movie with V-Dawg and we both fought over who would write this review because we enjoyed it so much. After that, I watched it 2 more times for good measure, something I rarely do with movies. Usually they aren’t worth revisiting until a while later, but this one was too much of a good time to pass up.

The basic premise of the story is that there is a guy by the name of Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera), who is pretty much your average guy who’s in a band, has a high school girlfriend (even though he’s already into his 20’s), and lives in a pseudo comic book/video game-like world. All is going well in his life until he sees Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead). She is perhaps the quirkiest girl anyone will ever see, and he falls in love with her instantly. The cost of his attraction to her? He must defeat her seven evil exes to stake a claim on her heart. In what proceeds like a live-action comic strip, he faces each of them as the movie gets closer and closer to comic book fiction, quickly learning who he is, who she is, and how to break up with a high schooler.

The movie really impressed me because it managed to be a really honest comedy. Some of the dialogue was purposefully dumb and coated in bad puns because of the movie’s attempt at imitating a comic strip. Also, many songs and sequences in the movie are references to different videogames from different times, so a certain geek knowledge base is a must for one to fully enjoy the movie. Apart from that, nothing brings more joy to my heart than seeing intensely colored lightning bolts come out of a punch to the face, the words “riiiiiiiing” appear on screen and vanish as they trail to the phone, or the letters K.O. appear when Scott beats one of his opponents. Overall, the movie is a sight to behold simply because of its great laughs, amazing sequences, and stunning visual cinematography and special effects. It is definitely not like watching paint dry on a comic book rendition of a classic, 8-bit video game.

By Kulguy

The Minority Report - "The Expendables" (2010)

"Next time, I'll deflate all your balls, friend."
Guns, women, blood, violence, coarse language, action, explosions, and, of course, tons of old actors that primarily did action films. I have just described for you the film, “The Expendables.” “The Expendables” is nothing more then an action flick, but it certainly is nothing less than an action film. In fact, I could have walked in with a checklist of action movie stereotypical scenes and there would have been multiple checks next to each one. This does not mean this movie is boring; it just means it is predictable.

Let us be honest here…if you walked into this movie looking for a profound experience that would alter your entire existence, you obviously have never seen an action movie. Action films are about big, flashy scenes of crazy explosions, shallow dialogue, awesome stunts, and fight scenes galore. The story is about mercenaries (Stallone, Statham, Li, Crews, and Couture) that have to overthrow this general who is in cahoots with a rogue FBI agent (Eric Roberts). The plot is that simple, and it rolls with it. There are also some twists and various events that spice up the standard action template that this movie follows so diligently.

This movie could have afforded to break the mold even a little bit, but instead, it just pumped the movie up with pure star power. There are so many action legends that it is enough to satisfy your action needs for years to come. This movie is perfect for you and your guy friends. With a group of dudes, you will come in with a grin and come out high fiving. Go with a girl on a first date and you will leave without the girl, as she left after the extremely gory (yet epically awesome) ten minutes. So this movie is not like watching paint dry, it is more like looking at a mural that includes every action star ever and throws it together in a familiar setting.

By V-Dawg

The Minority Report - "Inception" (2010)

“What's the most resilient parasite? An idea. A single idea from the human mind can build cities. An idea can transform the world and rewrite all the rules. Which is why I have to steal it.”
This movie has been on my “to watch” list for the longest time. Ever since I saw the 1st commercial about a half year ago, I was hooked on finding out how the production of the movie was going and when it was going to be released. Considering the fact that in the US it was released a week before we got it, there was a lot of talk about it over Facebook, Twitter, the newspapers, and movie review websites. It was hard to avoid spoilers and keep up to date with all things Inception, but somehow, I managed to do it. The day it came out here, I was immediately there.

The basic premise of the movie is that a man by the name of Dominic Cobb (Leonardo DiCaprio) is a type of futuristic extractor of information. The process involves the extractor infiltrating the dreams of someone that possesses information that could not be obtained through normal methods. Because of his experiences with his family and what he now does, he cannot sleep well or dream and he also can’t return to the United States. The recurring appearances of his wife, Mal (Marion Cotillard), in his missions because of his subconscious have almost compromised a couple of missions, but when he is offered a chance to see his family again if he completes a mission, he can’t help but accept. The man that hires him, Saito (Ken Watanabe), is rich and powerful, and can make basically any wish come true. At his behest, Cobb searches and finds a new dream world architect called Adriadne (Ellen Page), a forger that can change personas and identities within dreams called Eames (Tom Hardy), and a chemist that makes a strong sedative not available on the market called Yusuf (Dileep Rao); all of these people will join him and his friend and colleague, Arthur (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), as they pull off the mental heist. The target is a man named Robert Fischer (Cillian Murphy), who is the son of Maurice Fischer (Pete Postlethwaite), a man who is terminally ill and also happens to be Saito’s business rival. The mission is meant to plant the seed of a thought in the mind of Robert Fischer through a process called “inception,” which will make him want to break apart his father’s company as soon as he passes away. What begins as a simple plan quickly turns into a major commitment with many troubles and many dream levels that winds you down and bends your mind almost as much as it bends the storyline.

After I walked out of the movie, I was in love. It was intricate in both plotline and visuals. The way that the scenes were set up made them perfect eye candy for people that enjoy sets and special effects—specifically the scenes involving changes in gravity. The plotline was all but genius, and the way that the story moved along was just right to successfully transmit the information that was going on in all the dream levels. The only thing that went without much of an explanation after being mentioned was the timescale of the dreams. It was brought up in an off-handed way, but not clearly visible in the actual movie. Apart from that, though, the movie was a wonder to behold. Christopher Nolan did an excellent job as director and producer, but specifically as the writer of such an exciting adventure. I recommend everyone to see it if you can. This movie is definitely not like watching paint dry within paint drying within paint drying within paint drying.

By Kulguy

The Minority Report - "The Last Airbender" (2010)

“He will need you... and we all need him.”
I’m going to go ahead and start off by saying that I am a big fan of the original series. The thing with movies that are based off of something is that they will not be an exact replica. Keeping that in mind, when I went to see it, I forgot all about the television series and began with a blank slate. I had also heard for about a week (because movies come out a week later where I am currently) that the movie was absolutely terrible from everyone and everywhere (from friends to rotten tomatoes). I still held some level of hope, though.

Like the series, the movie is about an alternate earth where there are 4 nations that represent the 4 elements (Earth, Fire, Wind, and Water). Each nation practices different martial arts styles that make some of the people able to control their respective element, which is called “bending”. Legend tells of the avatar, who has the unique ability to master all 4 elements and rotates through all nations in an infinite reincarnation loop. One hundred years ago, he was born to the Air nation; that was also the time when the Fire nation decided to launch an attack to take over the other nations. When the world needed him most, though, the avatar disappeared. Now, one hundred years later, he has reappeared out of an ice sheet. Aang (Noah Ringer), the new avatar, along with the people that found him—Katara (Nicola Peltz) and Sokka (Jackson Rathbone)—have set out to liberate the nations from the grip of Fire and learn all 4 elements.

So…here we go. The movie wasn’t terrible, but it was bad. That is because of 3 main reasons: the script, the acting, and the editing. I had no problem with the camera angles and shots, as they were modeled after many of the scenes from the series and were pretty artful. What was terrible was the way that the movie was put together. Scenes would come and go with barely any cohesion. Only near the end was the editing bearable. Also, the bad acting coupled with the terrible script that only allowed for one-dimensional characters made the movie somewhat hard to watch. The only part of the movie that was fun to watch was the fighting and “bending” scenes because of the fantastic special effects created by Industrial Light and Magic. This movie is definitely like watching paint dry on a wall filled with ancient martial arts drawings and weird hybrid animals.

By Kulguy

The Minority Report - "Despicable Me" (2010)

"Despicable Me" is despicably cute. There is no way to escape this fact about the movie. It bathes itself in this fact. It knows it’s adorable and takes advantage of it like a little kitten in the pound looking to be adopted. If this movie really was a kitten in the pound waiting to be adopted and you suddenly met eyes with this adorable little fluff ball, you would fall in love instantly. This is the exact effect this movie had on me. I fell hard for the cute comedy and quirky attributes that drive this film. Even though it is a cute film, it also has its flaws. As with its humor, as some jokes may miss the intended audience. There are some moments that fall flat. Also, Steve Carell as the voice of the lead never truly feels like he is an evil genius. With these issues aside, this movie was the perfect kids (and, let’s face it, all ages) movie.

The story is about Gru (voiced by Steve Carell). Gru is a super, evil genius that is a tad past his prime. Well, Gru gets this great idea to steal the moon. To steal the moon, he needs the aid of the crazy gadgets that he uses as if nothing in everyday occurrences. He also has an army of crazy, little, yellow, jelly bean looking minions that help in boosting the comic relief, and help a crazy old inventor (voiced by Russel Brand). Things hit a snag in his plan fast, and Gru then acquires the possession of three little orphan girls by the names of Margo, Edith, and Agnes. This is a cute little movie that is all about Gru discovering his true self as a villain, son, and a dad.

This movie was entertaining, and it was impossible not to smile. Try as you might to not show off that you have an inner child, it will shine through in this movie. I even found myself fighting off tears (Hey guys, it’s okay to show off your sensitive side here and there. The chicks love it.). This movie is nowhere near profound or really endearing, yet it has tons of charm something a lot of movies this day and age lack. Also, its unique art style was highly appreciated and flowed well with its extremely polished animation. This movie is like watching a 5 year old paint an adorable (yet piss poor) painting of her family—it may not be the best, but you will still hang it on your fridge.

By V-Dawg