The Minority Report - "Horrible Bosses" (2011)

“I was looking at your boss. She makes herself a little snack. A popsicle. A banana. And finally, a hot dog. And eating them in that weird order—that's not a proper meal!”
Seeing the trailer of this movie for the first time, I thought it was a delightful spin on the typical ‘my boss is a jackass’ movie. Taking it to the next level, this group of likely idiots, each with their own horrible boss, is faced with a quandary: what to do about their terrible superiors? Watching this with friends was quite enjoyable, and I got to see it relatively early when it came out in my island. I expected quite a bit from this movie, as I usually possess quite a bit of apprehension when it comes to comedies, and I am happy to say that it didn’t disappoint.

The story centers around Nick Hendricks, Kurt Buckman, and Dale Arbus. At the start of the movie, we get a glimpse of their lives at work and of their bosses. Nick’s boss is a megalomaniac that pushes everyone to the edge while always seeming to get his own way. While Nick was convinced that he was going to get a promotion for always being on time and working his butt off, his boss was actually never going to give him the promotion he so desired. Instead, he is told that if he quits, his boss will ruin his future careers by lying about everything Nick has ever done. Kurt’s boss was the nicest man ever, according to him. One day, though, he died in a car accident. This left his only son in charge of running the business. Too bad he was a cocaine sniffing, racist, sexist, crazy, overall terrible person to everyone except for prostitutes. Dale’s boss is a dentist who can’t help but sexually harass everyone she comes into contact with, but especially him. Even though he is engaged and in love, she won’t back off and goes so far as to threaten to out the things she has done to him to his fiancée if he quits. Together at a bar, they all share stories about their working lives to a choir of sympathy (except for Dale, whom both say shouldn’t be complaining). Eventually, a plan hatches out of a joke—kill each other’s bosses. What ensues is both a hilarious and enjoyable journey with a group of misfits that can’t handle the easiest of tasks.

With an air of “The Hangover,” the movie was undoubtedly funny. The situations they are put through at work resonate with anyone that has ever held a job, and make you feel enraged at their treatment. These characters are nice, honest people that decided to do something about their predicament. The way the direction and cinematography of the movie flows is interesting, though I can’t put my finger on where it comes from or why it feels different. The sure thing one can expect from a movie like this is that there is a reflection of each of us in these characters. You can see yourself in one of them in at least one scene. The humor also feels honest and realistic. They each occasionally talk over and expand each other’s comments in a way that we do every day. This is what I believe can make or break a comedy. It can be funny, but if it doesn’t feel honest, it loses its power. This movie is like watching paint dry in the many offices around the world where horrible bosses preside.


By Kulguy

The Minority Report - "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" (2011)

“Caesar is home.”
This movie definitely had big shoes to fill to say the least. The original “Planet of the Apes” film was absolutely superb in most every way, and a prequel claiming to give rise to the former needed to do outshine all of the previous attempts. That it did. I love the original series and was looking forward to this movie, unlike some of my counterparts. It seemingly came out of nowhere and proved that sequels (or prequels, for that matter) can be excellent movies in and of themselves.

The story begins with a scene in Africa, where the natives are capturing apes. They are getting shipped to a testing facility under the direction of a man by the name of Will Rodman (James Franco) who is in the process of developing a cure for Alzheimer’s, which he tests on the captured apes. Soon, he finds that one of the apes has immensely increased intelligence due to the ALZ-112 drug he is developing. They present the results to a board of directors and investors that wish will decide to market the product or not, but the meeting is disrupted by the intelligent ape, who is shot. It turns out she was a female and had lashed out only because she felt her baby, who she had given birth to secretly, was threatened by the researchers. This puts a damper on Will’s plan to possibly cure Alzheimer’s since his lab is left without chimps after they force the researchers to put them all down, and because he also takes the baby chimp to his home so that it won’t get killed like the others. There, he raises it to keep his father, Charles (John Lithgow), who has Alzheimer’s, company. What began as a temporary house guest soon becomes part of the family as he gains more and more intelligence along the way. Will records the progress and realizes that the ape, whom he named Caesar (Andy Serkis), has inherited the genes for intelligence from his mother. Soon, terrible circumstances force Caesar into a situation where he has to take charge and grow as an ape and as an eventual person. The future of the world is at stake.

Treading a fine line between retribution and compassion, Caesar’s character accepts the role of protagonist in an inspiringly human way. The emotions displayed by the apes and humans alike drag you in and don’t let go. You find yourself hoping and praying that the apes get their way, as the conditions for both sides get worse and worse. Will’s fight against the ravages of Alzheimer’s on his father is emotionally charged and deeply saddening. Here is a man who has dedicated his entire life to save his father, but has created something different as a result. Special praise has to be given to Weta Digital—the company which created the special effects in the film. If the apes wouldn’t have been so realistic, the drama would not have been felt the way it was. The interaction between the real world and the special effects was flawless, and the detail and craftsmanship of the apes was impressive. A film both inspiring and terrifying in its scope, it really brings home new ideas on what it is to be human. This film is only slightly like watching paint dry on redwood trees that tell the story of the rise of the apes.


By Kulguy

The Minority Report - "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" (2011)

"Bee, there's something else going on here. The moon program, the cover-ups, the assassinations, it's all led to this..."
After the second movie, I was honestly debating going to see this one. The second one was full of racist and unnecessarily obscene humor, terrible dialogue, and a senseless and overblown plot. The thing is, there was a part of me that wanted to give one of my favorite series as a child a second chance. It was almost as if the Optimus from the original animated series was telling me to do the right thing. So, I ended up watching it. Here’s what I thought…

The film opens up on the planet of Cybertron when a spacecraft called the Ark, known to be carrying an invention capable of ending the long-winded war between the Autobots and Decepticons, escapes from the area and crash lands on the far side of Earth’s moon. NASA detects this and launches the Apollo program with the help of John F. Kennedy to put a man on the moon as a cover for finding the craft. After the astronauts find the craft, the film moves to the present day where the Autobots are helping the US military in a quest for global peace. In their missions, they discover alien technology at Chernobyl and venture to the far side of the moon to find its origins. There, they find Sentinel Prime, one of the leaders of the Autobots, and reboot him in an effort to find out what is going on. He tells them that the secret invention was a space bridge that was meant to teleport matter between two points. All the while, Sam Witwicky (Shia LeBeouf) is upset because he can’t be part of the ongoing missions and has lost almost all connection with his Autobot friends. On his job, he is given information by a coworker who is subsequently murdered by a Decepticon. He attempts to go to the Autobots to tell them about what is occurring as more people lose their lives, and that’s when all hell breaks loose. It leads to the ultimate battle between a great evil and the ultimate force of sentient good in the universe.

As can be ascertained from the description, the plot is still overblown. At least this time, it isn’t exactly senseless. The movie achieves something which its predecessor lacked: it has the feel of the original. Even though the storytelling is still sub-par and some of the humor misses the mark, it tries to be as charming and as fresh as the movie that started the franchise. One thing that has upset me from the beginning and did even more in this movie is how Michael Bay focuses a few too many minutes of precious plotline on shots of the female ‘lead’ (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley)—if she could be called that. It almost makes her a selling point in the movie. I understand the phrase ‘sex sells,’ but there are still people out there that enjoy a movie because it is good and not because some English model is walking around looking surprisingly not beat up and dusty in every scene after an explosion. Apart from that, I must mention that I watched it in 3D and, once again, I don’t think it was worth it. One of my cousins was with me and, being 7 years old, I expected him to enjoy the 3D depth and action. As it turns out, after we left the theater, he said he had decided that he didn’t really like 3D. Good man. This movie is like watching paint dry on a pillar that is teleporting sentient robot beings to destroy the Earth.


By Kulguy

The Minority Report - "Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows – Part 2" (2011)

“Only I can live forever.”
This is it…the last chapter in the saga. This is the movie no one was waiting for. After this movie, it's finally the end of everything "Harry Potter." For me, it has just ended as of a few hours ago. Honestly, I'm a big fan of the franchise (book-wise) and have been for some time now. The thing is, book aside, this was an excellent movie. David Yates finally proved to me that he isn't a bad director; he just needs four movies to get the hang of it. “Deathly Hallows – Part 2” really delivered on its expected dose of action, acting, suspense, story, and drama. The movie went out with a bang.

The film begins where the previous left off: Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes) has just attained the Elder Wand and is about to wage war against a reformed Hogwards under its new headmaster, Snape (Alan Rickman). Life is tough for those in the school, but even tougher for Harry (Daniel Radcliffe), Ron (Rupert Grint), and Hermione (Emma Watson), who just got done burying their friend and have to break into Gringotts bank to find yet another horcrux. After a harrowing escape on a dragon, they finally get back to Hogwarts in time for the attack. Good and evil are pitted in a war to the death where both sides will suffer losses. What ensues is an epic battle between the darkest wizard of all time and a kid that, over the course of seven years, has matured into a hero.

That’s pretty much all that can be said without spoiling the journey in the movie (even if you have already read the book). From the moment the movie begins, it is instant beautiful cinematography. Unlike its predecessor, this film doesn’t rely solely on its landscapes and panning shots to get you through the motions. Rather, it blends together artful direction with the brazen storytelling that Yates should have had from the beginning. When you aren’t surrounded by intense action, you are getting serious drama via dialogue; when you aren’t being torn apart on the inside by the drama, you are getting slapped in the face with some comedic moments here and there. This movie honestly seems to have it all. You can tell that the actors have been through a lot and have grown up since their early days. What results from this is an amazing farewell from a motley of great actors including Alan Rickman and Ralph Fiennes. This is a summer blockbuster that is all it is cracked up to be and more. It is most definitely not like watching paint dry on a canvas detailing the final magical clash between good and evil.


By Kulguy

The Caucasian Report - "Mr. Popper's Penguins" (2011)

~Unlikely Guest Puts Popper to the Test~
When I saw the preview for this picture, it was apparent that its purpose was to please younger people. Despite the puerile plotline, I was always planning on seeing it because it’s practically impossible for me to pass up a Jim Carrey movie. This film is precisely what can be expected: an updated presentation of the popular 1938 children’s parable. You simply can’t go into the theater anticipating a profound experience. What you can expect is a preposterous amount of penguin cuteness.

The movie is about Mr. Popper (Jim Carrey), a powerful and passionate businessman in the prime of his life. After his father’s passing, he is left a particularly peculiar inheritance. One day, a pretty large package appears at his door. Upon opening it, Mr. Popper finds the last thing he expected—a live penguin. Due to a communication problem, when he attempts to send the penguin back, he is sent five more instead. Amongst his penguin panic, his ex-wife (Carla Gugino) and kids (Madeline Carroll, Maxwell Perry Cotton) stop by for his son’s birthday party. The boy’s persistent pleas persuade Mr. Popper to keep the penguins in his possession. Before long, Mr. Popper finds himself growing partial to the penguins. He proceeds to prop his doors open in the middle of winter and pile snow into his living room. Thanks to the penguins, Mr. Popper starts to put a higher priority on parenting and pays less attention to work. Who knew that a pack of playful penguins would be just what the doctor prescribed for Mr. Popper?

The film puts a contemporary spin on the story of Mr. Popper. If you happen to be familiar with the book, be prepared for the movie to be completely different. Provided, I do think the story had to be adapted to produce something applicable to the 21st century, the screenwriters pulled it off superbly. The best part of this movie is the inspiring message it portrays—spend a predominant portion of your time with the people you love. The movie’s weak point was that it was extremely predictable. There is a high probability that any predictions you ponder will play out right before your eyes. As far as acting goes, I am positive this wasn’t Carrey’s paramount performance, but it probably wasn’t his poorest either. It is someplace in the middle of the road. It was a pleasant surprise to see that Angela Lansbury had an important part. She was the perfect actress to place as the prudent Mrs. Van Gundy—the first person who doesn’t fall prey to Mr. Popper’s perfected charm. This movie is like watching paint dry, only if the paint is black and white with a hint of orange here and there.


By WhiteChick

The Minority Report - "Super 8" (2011)

"If you talk about this, you and your parents will all die."
In all honesty, behind “Falling Skies,” the trailer for “Super 8” was probably the biggest letdown of the Superbowl commercials. It was one of those trailers that had a lot to hide and very little to show. I was intrigued, but not enough to follow up. Slowly, more bits of the story came together. As the date of release came closer, I became more interested. When the initial reviews came in, I was convinced I needed to see it. The thing that solidified the idea of watching the movie was the fake rendition of the movie on Funny or Die, which was hilarious. Ready? 3…2…1…“CLOVERFIELD”!!!

The movie introduces you to a young boy called Joe Lamb (Joel Courtney) who has just lost his mother in a steel mill accident. The movie picks up 4 months after the accident. The year is early 1979, and Joe and his friends make movies on Super 8 mm film with an old camera. They are currently attempting to film a zombie flick for a film festival and they needed an extra actress. A girl called Alice Dainard (Elle Fanning) is used, and there is immediately a spark between them. During one of their scenes, they are filming in a train station when a train is approaching. For production value, they decide to film while it passes, only to be interrupted by its subsequent derailment and explosion at the hands of a car that hit it head-on purposefully. The kids scatter as the craziness occurs, but the camera keeps filming the entire event as it unfolds. Out of the wreckage come the kids and one mysterious piece of footage. Strange things begin happening around the small town, and it’s got something to do with what was on that train.

It was a surprise hit, to be sure, but J.J. Abrams hit the nail on the head with this one. The story is as mysterious as it is ambitious. It harks back to old Spielberg films in a refreshing way that allows you to enjoy it even though the story has been done before. The spirit behind the unknown and the childish inhibition embodied by the lead character are not soon forgettable, and I am sure that everyone can relate since we have all been young before. Overwhelming sadness and emotion can be dealt with and overcome through strife, and this movie truly teaches us that. It’s nothing new, but it is an excellent new take on an old style. The filming is superb and there is a ton of foreshadowing scattered about. It’s a new movie, but feels like an old ambitious film. Oh, and stay for the credits to experience something that you can’t miss. This movie is like watching paint dry on some old Super 8 mm film while it captures something truly out of this world.


By Kulguy

The Minority Report - "X-Men: First Class" (2011)

“A new species is being born. Help me guide it, shape it, lead it.”
I have been waiting to see this movie ever since there was a small hint that it was going to be made. I am, admittedly, surrounded by nerds that were all quite excited for it as well. Finally, I was able to see it and was definitely not disappointed. Rebooting a franchise isn’t easy. Considering the fact that this is a summer of superhero movies, it has to make its mark, and make it well. It most certainly did that. With excellent cinematography, a phenomenal cast, and an emotionally charged storyline, this movie is truly something to behold.

The movie begins with the classic scene we all remember: a young boy getting separated from his parents during the holocaust. In the midst of his anger, he begins bending the gates separating him and his parents until he is struck over the head with the butt of a rifle. The location quickly changes to a child living in an opulent home that gets awakened by his “mother.” In reality, it is a young shapeshifter named Raven (at this point, Morgan Lily, but later Jennifer Lawrence). Meet Erik Lensherr (Michael Fassbender) and Charles Xavier (James McAvoy). The former gets tortured for prolonged periods of time by a man named Dr. Schmidt (Kevin Bacon) to enhance his metal controlling abilities, while the latter flirts with women by using his telepathic powers and suave talk about genetic mutations. Two completely different lives clash as the CIA becomes involved because of Cold War tensions between the United States and Russia, culminating in the Cuban Missile Crisis, with the X-Men trapped in the middle.

This is in no way, shape, or form, a full synopsis. If I had tried to give a complete synopsis, I would ruin some great moments in the film. For one thing, the evolution of Magneto and Xavier is beautiful. You see them grow and mature over time. Magneto, driven by rage and revenge makes it his life’s mission to kill his captor from the concentration camps, Dr. Schmidt (aka Sebastian Shaw). His efforts have taken up most of his young life and hardened him as an individual. His character has glimmers of sanity in between the clouded hatred and fierce disposition with which he behaves treats those around him. Xavier, on the other hand, is a quirky individual who cares deeply for his fellows. He carries himself with a wisdom and serenity that allows him to help people. It is these same traits that are also his greatest weakness. Both the actors do a phenomenal job portraying the individuals in the film.

Interestingly enough, the cinematography and editing (in one specific point) is slightly reminiscent of that employed by the often forgotten “Hulk” movie from 2003. Here, the split-screen employed works phenomenally to depict multiple angles of the same scene instead of sucking at displaying different scenes all around the screen. It also shows the passage of time really well. Overall, this movie is definitely a great one. I went in expecting a great movie, and it delivered. Like critics have said: it isn’t a great superhero movie, it’s a great movie. This movie is only very slightly like watching paint dry on a mutated rendition of the Cold War.


By Kulguy