The Minority Report - "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" (2011)

“Caesar is home.”
This movie definitely had big shoes to fill to say the least. The original “Planet of the Apes” film was absolutely superb in most every way, and a prequel claiming to give rise to the former needed to do outshine all of the previous attempts. That it did. I love the original series and was looking forward to this movie, unlike some of my counterparts. It seemingly came out of nowhere and proved that sequels (or prequels, for that matter) can be excellent movies in and of themselves.

The story begins with a scene in Africa, where the natives are capturing apes. They are getting shipped to a testing facility under the direction of a man by the name of Will Rodman (James Franco) who is in the process of developing a cure for Alzheimer’s, which he tests on the captured apes. Soon, he finds that one of the apes has immensely increased intelligence due to the ALZ-112 drug he is developing. They present the results to a board of directors and investors that wish will decide to market the product or not, but the meeting is disrupted by the intelligent ape, who is shot. It turns out she was a female and had lashed out only because she felt her baby, who she had given birth to secretly, was threatened by the researchers. This puts a damper on Will’s plan to possibly cure Alzheimer’s since his lab is left without chimps after they force the researchers to put them all down, and because he also takes the baby chimp to his home so that it won’t get killed like the others. There, he raises it to keep his father, Charles (John Lithgow), who has Alzheimer’s, company. What began as a temporary house guest soon becomes part of the family as he gains more and more intelligence along the way. Will records the progress and realizes that the ape, whom he named Caesar (Andy Serkis), has inherited the genes for intelligence from his mother. Soon, terrible circumstances force Caesar into a situation where he has to take charge and grow as an ape and as an eventual person. The future of the world is at stake.

Treading a fine line between retribution and compassion, Caesar’s character accepts the role of protagonist in an inspiringly human way. The emotions displayed by the apes and humans alike drag you in and don’t let go. You find yourself hoping and praying that the apes get their way, as the conditions for both sides get worse and worse. Will’s fight against the ravages of Alzheimer’s on his father is emotionally charged and deeply saddening. Here is a man who has dedicated his entire life to save his father, but has created something different as a result. Special praise has to be given to Weta Digital—the company which created the special effects in the film. If the apes wouldn’t have been so realistic, the drama would not have been felt the way it was. The interaction between the real world and the special effects was flawless, and the detail and craftsmanship of the apes was impressive. A film both inspiring and terrifying in its scope, it really brings home new ideas on what it is to be human. This film is only slightly like watching paint dry on redwood trees that tell the story of the rise of the apes.


By Kulguy

The Caucasian Report - "Mr. Popper's Penguins" (2011)

~Unlikely Guest Puts Popper to the Test~
When I saw the preview for this picture, it was apparent that its purpose was to please younger people. Despite the puerile plotline, I was always planning on seeing it because it’s practically impossible for me to pass up a Jim Carrey movie. This film is precisely what can be expected: an updated presentation of the popular 1938 children’s parable. You simply can’t go into the theater anticipating a profound experience. What you can expect is a preposterous amount of penguin cuteness.

The movie is about Mr. Popper (Jim Carrey), a powerful and passionate businessman in the prime of his life. After his father’s passing, he is left a particularly peculiar inheritance. One day, a pretty large package appears at his door. Upon opening it, Mr. Popper finds the last thing he expected—a live penguin. Due to a communication problem, when he attempts to send the penguin back, he is sent five more instead. Amongst his penguin panic, his ex-wife (Carla Gugino) and kids (Madeline Carroll, Maxwell Perry Cotton) stop by for his son’s birthday party. The boy’s persistent pleas persuade Mr. Popper to keep the penguins in his possession. Before long, Mr. Popper finds himself growing partial to the penguins. He proceeds to prop his doors open in the middle of winter and pile snow into his living room. Thanks to the penguins, Mr. Popper starts to put a higher priority on parenting and pays less attention to work. Who knew that a pack of playful penguins would be just what the doctor prescribed for Mr. Popper?

The film puts a contemporary spin on the story of Mr. Popper. If you happen to be familiar with the book, be prepared for the movie to be completely different. Provided, I do think the story had to be adapted to produce something applicable to the 21st century, the screenwriters pulled it off superbly. The best part of this movie is the inspiring message it portrays—spend a predominant portion of your time with the people you love. The movie’s weak point was that it was extremely predictable. There is a high probability that any predictions you ponder will play out right before your eyes. As far as acting goes, I am positive this wasn’t Carrey’s paramount performance, but it probably wasn’t his poorest either. It is someplace in the middle of the road. It was a pleasant surprise to see that Angela Lansbury had an important part. She was the perfect actress to place as the prudent Mrs. Van Gundy—the first person who doesn’t fall prey to Mr. Popper’s perfected charm. This movie is like watching paint dry, only if the paint is black and white with a hint of orange here and there.


By WhiteChick

The Minority Report - "X-Men: First Class" (2011)

“A new species is being born. Help me guide it, shape it, lead it.”
I have been waiting to see this movie ever since there was a small hint that it was going to be made. I am, admittedly, surrounded by nerds that were all quite excited for it as well. Finally, I was able to see it and was definitely not disappointed. Rebooting a franchise isn’t easy. Considering the fact that this is a summer of superhero movies, it has to make its mark, and make it well. It most certainly did that. With excellent cinematography, a phenomenal cast, and an emotionally charged storyline, this movie is truly something to behold.

The movie begins with the classic scene we all remember: a young boy getting separated from his parents during the holocaust. In the midst of his anger, he begins bending the gates separating him and his parents until he is struck over the head with the butt of a rifle. The location quickly changes to a child living in an opulent home that gets awakened by his “mother.” In reality, it is a young shapeshifter named Raven (at this point, Morgan Lily, but later Jennifer Lawrence). Meet Erik Lensherr (Michael Fassbender) and Charles Xavier (James McAvoy). The former gets tortured for prolonged periods of time by a man named Dr. Schmidt (Kevin Bacon) to enhance his metal controlling abilities, while the latter flirts with women by using his telepathic powers and suave talk about genetic mutations. Two completely different lives clash as the CIA becomes involved because of Cold War tensions between the United States and Russia, culminating in the Cuban Missile Crisis, with the X-Men trapped in the middle.

This is in no way, shape, or form, a full synopsis. If I had tried to give a complete synopsis, I would ruin some great moments in the film. For one thing, the evolution of Magneto and Xavier is beautiful. You see them grow and mature over time. Magneto, driven by rage and revenge makes it his life’s mission to kill his captor from the concentration camps, Dr. Schmidt (aka Sebastian Shaw). His efforts have taken up most of his young life and hardened him as an individual. His character has glimmers of sanity in between the clouded hatred and fierce disposition with which he behaves treats those around him. Xavier, on the other hand, is a quirky individual who cares deeply for his fellows. He carries himself with a wisdom and serenity that allows him to help people. It is these same traits that are also his greatest weakness. Both the actors do a phenomenal job portraying the individuals in the film.

Interestingly enough, the cinematography and editing (in one specific point) is slightly reminiscent of that employed by the often forgotten “Hulk” movie from 2003. Here, the split-screen employed works phenomenally to depict multiple angles of the same scene instead of sucking at displaying different scenes all around the screen. It also shows the passage of time really well. Overall, this movie is definitely a great one. I went in expecting a great movie, and it delivered. Like critics have said: it isn’t a great superhero movie, it’s a great movie. This movie is only very slightly like watching paint dry on a mutated rendition of the Cold War.


By Kulguy

The Minority Report - "The A-Team" (2010)

"I love it when a plan comes together."
As soon as this movie hit theaters, I was ready to see it. I have seen the original series and, considering the fact that it was an influence to the blockbuster series Ocean’s 11, 12, and 13 and the television series Leverage, I was excited to see a full-length feature adaptation. Besides that, it was going to be interesting seeing the casting that took place for B.A. Baracus (Quinton Jackson), a character originally played by Mr. T. So, for father’s day, because my mom and dad were big fans of the original series as well, we headed out to the nearest theater to enjoy.

The movie opens up with the story of how the members of The A-Team found each other. John “Hannibal” Smith (Liam Neeson) makes a plan to take down some criminals in Mexico and, in the process, gets his partner, Tempelton “Face” Peck (Bradley Cooper), caught. He escapes from a trap and heads out through the desert to rescue his friend, where he hijacks a GMC Vandura van (the famous A-Team series van) that is being driven by B.A. Baracus. They immediately bond because of their involvement in the American armed forces (B.A. is in the Rangers). They work together to rescue Face and then flee to pick up a pilot they hired, whom is literally insane. Stopping at a mental institution, they find H.M. “Howling Mad” Murdock (Sharlto Copley), feigning that he is a doctor and being dragged away by the medical professionals that are caring for him. They release him into the custody of Hannibal and they all head out in a medical helicopter. As they are taking off, they throw objects off of the helicopter and accidentally destroy the van to the dismay of B.A. Being chased by the criminals in the air now, they escape various missiles and traps by doing aerial acrobatics that leave B.A. terrified of flying, and end up in American airspace, where the Mexican criminals get blown out of the air. Now, they work together doing missions of utmost importance until they are tricked by a group of Black Ops marines and jailed for a crime they did not commit. They then promptly escape from jail and seek to clear their names.

The more I watched this movie, the more fond memories returned of the old series. Even though there is more action involved with the plans that Hannibal concocts, it still retains that spark from the old series. The whole point of the series was to offer up a group of people that acted in a MacGyver-like way to escape from any situation. The critics that you will see around give this movie mixed reviews because they dislike this type of crazy and almost plotless action that resolves itself in a crazy way. I like plotlines that are well set up and this one, surprisingly, is. It remains faithful to the series while adding some new flare that is instantly enjoyable. If you like wacky humor that is honestly funny or crazy antics that could only come from The A-Team, then this movie is for you. This movie is like watching paint dry if the paint runs missions in a covert fashion as it attempts to clear its name.

By Kulguy

The Minority Report - "Fight Club" (1999)

“Welcome to Fight Club. The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: you DO NOT talk about Fight Club!”
This movie was one that I had been told to watch more than once. Its appeal was indubitable: it was a movie that was relatively middle-aged (from the 1990s), and sported a wacky plotline with strange and witty construction. Adapted from a 1996 novel of the same name by Chuck Palahniuk, the movie is pretty accurate with its portrayal. This film has also been the subject of many a controversy in its time. Mainly, though, the attacks are towards the movie’s portrayal of violence as acceptable alternative lifestyle that can aid with problems accosting an individual. This is true. But it’s ridiculous to keep blaming things for the choices people make. My opinion? Make people less stupid. Enjoy the damned movie, and that’s it.

The story starts off with a man by the name of…well…he doesn’t really have a name. The actor’s name is Edward Norton, though. He suffers from incurable insomnia which his doctor refuses to treat, and has to travel a lot for his job as a worker for an automobile company. Seeking a way to deal with his mounting problems, he begins attending a support group. This ends up helping him and he assumes different identities, attending a myriad of different support groups for different ailments and afflictions. Finding a person that does the same thing as him in the support groups, Marla Singer (Helena Bonham Carter), angers him, but they come to an agreement to split the support groups. Soon afterwards, though, he is traveling when he meets a man called Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt) on a plane. Tyler is a traveling soap salesman, and the nameless main character envies his attitude and mode of life. Upon returning home, he finds his apartment in flames. He calls both Marla and then Tyler for help and ends up staying with Tyler at a random decrepit house. One night, they begin fighting for the heck of it, and it quickly becomes a routine thing that attracts more and more people each time. Everything changes when a person asks if he can fight next—this is when the 1st Fight Club is founded. Soon, though, the main character discovers that he has bitten off more than he can chew and that the Fight Club has become more than he can control or more than he wants to be involved with.

At the end of the movie, my mind was blown, and my heart was sold. This movie was great. It was a funny, witty, interesting, obnoxious, violent, and breathtaking view into the life of a misconstrued man attempting to find solutions and an identity. Cinematographically, the movie is amazing. It contains everything from three-dimensional rotation of characters (matrix mode-ish) to subliminal messages and even interesting flash-backs made like old film and the loss of autofocus. All in all, this extremely enjoyable film is well worth watching and enjoying and I highly recommend it. This movie not like watching paint dry…it’s like watching controversy seep into every crevice of American society.

By Kulguy

The Minority Report - "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" (1975)

“I'm just a sweet transvestite, from Transsexual Transylvania.”
What can I say, really that hasn’t already been transmitted through the above quote? The movie is considered by many to be a cult classic. I, honestly, didn’t know this, but apparently you are supposed to watch it at midnight with everyone dressed up (girls as prostitutes or weird dancers and men as transvestites…not much choice there). Anyway, this movie works like a Scary Movie that includes sci-fi. It is not meant to be taken seriously as a movie in and of itself; instead, its value comes from the way that the different sci-fi, horror, mystery, thriller, musical, and comedy components come together into one awkward hybrid. The characters mock many of the classic happenings in horror (the prolonged scream, the “let’s go into the haunted-scary-possibly-a-castle-lightning-emitting house even though there is a sign that says to not go in,” etc.) in a mis-matchery of random events that are bound to either please or, well, confuse.

The story revolves around a man by the name of Brad Majors (Barry Bostwick), who is engaged to Janet Weiss (Susan Sarandon). They are both heading down a road when they get a flat tire in the middle of a big rain and thunderstorm. They decide to leave their car in an attempt to get help because they noticed a house a bit farther back down the road. Entering the scary-looking house, they meet up with a strange assortment of people including a bisexual transvestite named Dr. Frank N. Furter (Tim Curry), an odd servant named Riff Raff (Richard O’Brien), and what are probably either two groupies or two prostitutes, Magenta (Patricia Quinn) and Colombia (Nell Campbell). What ensues cannot be described by words, as it is too overly complicated and if I begin to discuss it, I will ruin the rest of the movie.

Overall, the movie was witty and funny, and surprisingly enjoyable. Even though the acting was quite terrible (it’s supposed to be that way), it worked precisely because the movie itself, was one huge farce. Whether it was a transvestite, a muscular man in some speedo-like golden shorts, people committing affairs, masked people dancing, a antimatter gun, or floating lips that introduce the movie, this is one messed up film that you probably should not miss…if you are comfortable with extreme weirdness. This movie is like watching paint dry…if the paint does the “Time Warp,” that is.

By Kulguy

The Minority Report - "Date Night" (2010)

“When he says vagina, he means your face.”
This movie, like many Steve Carell movies, I expected to be full of attempts at comedy and a big failure overall. To my surprise, it was quite enjoyable and, indeed, quite good. Steve Carell and Tina Fey seem to be a match made in comedy heaven. It appears as though they feed off of each other, and their marriage in the movie seems legitimate and believable. Without missing a beat, the story manages to develop the two main characters as a typical married couple. Their personalities complement each other and their charisma is undeniable. The plot leads one through a voyage of discovery from the perspective of the couple. Their interactions are comedic, but also touching. In attempting to get out of their predicament, they discover more about who they are in their marriage.

The plot centers around a tax professional named Phil Foster (Steve Carell) and a real estate agent named Claire Foster (Tina Fey). They have two kids of their own and participate in activities which include book club and a date night every Friday, where they go to the same restaurant, order the same food, and have the same discourses every time. When they find out that one of the married couples with whom they are friends with is getting a divorce, they seek to reignite the spark in their relationship. Deciding to go to a fancy restaurant in New York, they delve upon an insane adventure that will eventually lead them to discover whether they are headed on the same path as their friends or not.

Very enjoyable plot points and situations are readily found in this movie, and the action is steadily maintained. Even though the dialogue is not deep or meaningful in the least (it is a comedy after all), it never gets old witnessing the two get placed in one strange and often awkward situation after another. Overall, this movie was highly enjoyable and packed full of laughs (except for the younglings). It is a little bit like watching paint dry…that is, if the paint is awkward and is married to even more awkward paint.

By Kulguy