The Minority Report - "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides" (2011)

“If I don’t kill a man every now and then, they forget who I am.”
This was probably one of those movies that was very highly anticipated, as it opened the summer box office. That it did…with a bang: $90.1 million in domestic ticket sales and $256.3 in international ticket sales at the opening box office. It’s no wonder, too, considering it boasted what many girls with eyes glazed over claim is the sexiest pirate ever—Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp). I don’t say “Captain Jack Sparrow,” since he doesn’t deserve to be called so this movie. The 4th installment in the “Pirates” series, seeks to maintain all the charm of its predecessors with a different story. It does a decent job, but obviously still suffers from the aches and pains of being a sequel.

The story revolves around the ever-eccentric Jack Sparrow, who has travelled to London to locate an impersonator that is recruiting a crew for a ship to find the Fountain of Youth. After rescuing his former crewmate, he has an encounter with the king, who offers him a spot aboard a vessel to discover the lost fountain before the Spanish. The expedition will be headed by none other than Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush), who has become a privateer since losing the Black Pearl to Blackbeard (Ian McShane). Sparrow declines and escapes to unmask his impostor, who ends up being his ex, Angelica (Penélope Cruz). He ends up on Blackbeard’s ship, in a quest that will pit him against Spain, London, Mermaids, Juan Ponce de León, and Blackbeard, all leading up to the fabled Fountain of Youth.

Jack Sparrow’s quirkiness is still here in full swing, but the true acting prowess and the reason I chose the quote at the beginning is Ian McShane’s Blackbeard. He is the perfect villain. Emanating pure evil, controlling his ship with his sword, and making use of a crew of zombies, the man pulls it off no sweat. Even though the movie can get a bit hectic with the fighting sequences, it is still a fun ride for the beginning of summer. I wouldn’t give it as low a score as it has on Rotten Tomatoes currently, but it is definitely nowhere near as great as its predecessors. The 3D was also definitely not worth it, as there were probably 5 scenes that were noticeably done for the 3D effect. I watched it normally, and can safely tell everyone not to waste their money on it. This movie is like watching paint dry on the many islands and ships of the Caribbean.


By Kulguy

The Minority Report - "Rango" (2011)

“Rango” is a story about finding out who you are, how to stay yourself in an ever-changing world, and being the person you created. Rango (voiced by Johnny Depp) is a chameleon who was confined to the glass walls of his terrarium and created characters and scenarios for him to play upon. One fateful day while traveling in the back seat of his owner’s car, his terrarium, with him inside, was ejected from the vehicle in the middle of the Mojave Desert. Rango then runs into a shaman-like armadillo that tells him that he needs to travel to the town of Dirt in order to find the water he needs to quench his thirst under the harsh, blistering sun. Once he reaches the town of Dirt, the movie changes. Previously, the movie was filled with action, comedy, and a modern feel. Once Rango gets to the town (about 15 minutes in), the movie seems to drift away from the comedy to focus on the western setting and story. Laughs will still ensue, but it was not like the side splitting beginning.

In fact, I can easily say that this movie’s story and feel make it not a children’s movie (even though it is produced by nickelodeon and is a computer generated cartoon movie). The film handles heavy subjects such as alcoholism and murder. The story is a western at its heart, but like good westerns, it may not be what a parent wants their children to see. The story is a murder mystery; the transformation of Rango from someone playing a part, to becoming the part, and a search for the most precious thing in the town—water. H2O is the life of the town of Dirt: people pay for items with it, need it, worship it, and it is, unfortunately, gone and has been for some time. Hope is all but lost until Rango shows up and inspires the town to search for water. But unfortunately, the story runs a bit dry from time to time with its hit-or-miss humor, lack of action, and general missteps.

One misstep is how it seems a tad confused as to who its target audience is. One would think that the director of the “Pirates of the Caribbean” films (Gore Verbinski) would know how to walk that fine line between being too mature for the younger audiences and being mature enough to grasp the attention of the older folk. It misses that completely and seems to be staying close to a dark, crude, western tale with some juvenile dialogue that seems vastly misplaced just to justify and keep its PG rating. This is most apparent in its happy ending that is directly contradictory to its overall dark theme. It dwells on death, deceit, and revenge, like most good westerns. Some of the dialogue and most of the humor is actually very crude, including alcoholism, smoking, and racism. If I was a parent, I would not take my younger children to this film.

What this film does do right is the animation. It is simply stunning, and shows a fantastic art direction. It is exaggerated and rich. Colors pop, light shines, and every detail is seen in brilliance. It is sometimes like watching art being painted upon the movie screen. The director knows this and makes sure that the animation in and of itself is another character.

The art and animation, unfortunately, are not enough to hold a viewer’s attention during one of its many slow parts. The movie was surprisingly sinister and mature. Overall, it was an enjoyable little film that should by viewed by fans of westerns, the “Pirates of the Caribbean” movies, or someone looking for a film that is vastly different from the normal Hollywood CGI films. In the end, it was like watching a gorgeous painting of a western ghost town dry under the desert sun.


By V-Dawg

The Minority Report - "The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus" (2009)

This is Heath Ledgers final film. Well, his final half of a film as he died in the middle of production. “Then how was this movie completed,” you may ask. Well, simple you see! When Tony (Heath Ledger, Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and Colin Farrell) enters the imaginarium, he becomes a different actor, same person though. Tony, outside of the imaginarium (a mirror essentially that transports the visitor to a magical land of their imagination), is Heath Ledger, but as soon as he enters the mirror, he becomes another actor. This was a way of avoiding reshooting the entire movie and works for the most part. But I am not going to knock the film for its lack of continuity. I will knock it for other things, though. I will also give it praise.

This is the type of film that I hate to review. At moments it is a fantastic film that I must applaud for its pure creativity and all out madness. Yet, at other moments, I had to hang my head in sheer disappointment either from disappointing acting, an unraveling story that began so intriguing, or some spotty special effects. The premise for the film is an interesting one that spans out from the absurd, and pivots upon the ideals of making a deal with the devil. Doctor Parnassus makes multiple deals with the devil, and now it is time to pay. For this, he uses his powers (which he obtained ages ago) to transform a simple mirror into a gateway into one’s imagination. From there, they must conquer their vices and, if not, their soul becomes damned and claimed by Satan himself. What Doctor Parnassus does is try to present choices so that the world can “rule itself.” He tries to achieve this goal by making a traveling theater company which grabs members of the audience and makes them pass into the mirror. Once somebody enters the imaginarium, the pallet of the real world goes from dark and bleak into a burst of color and transforms the screen into a psychedelic adventure. At times in the imaginarium it is a fantastic whimsical land, but it can be spotty and sometimes easily dismissed. The story is also a very slow burning candle that has very little effort to help entertain the audience and get them to where they need to go and yet still manages to lose them at times.

This movie was an interesting thrill presented by the man who brought us Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. It is a slight disappointment for it to be Heath Ledgers last moment on film. Overall, the movie is a very interesting story and presentation that may lose some audience on how it is approached. This movie is like paint drying on an M. C. Escher painting on acid.

By V-Dawg